The Good Boy

I have come to the conclusion that men are a far more superior being compared to women. It’s a proven fact, both scientifically and theologically. There is absolutely no denying that. Since the beginning of time this fact has been proven. The cavemen knew this, the Jahiliah knew this, the Dark Ages knew this. However, somehow, we the modern day men managed to forget about this.

The cavemen treated their women like possessions; familiar with comic strip of a caveman dragging his woman around by the hair? That is brilliant. Straight to the point, put women to their rightful place. Shame we fail to continue that. The Jahiliah, well, they simply tried to get rid of women by killing baby girls, or keep women to the absolute minimum, for entertainment purposes and also to bear their child only. However Islam came and rightfully put an end to it. The dark ages were the same and the emergence of the ridiculous chivalry concept changed everything. The only good thing about the chivalry was that it stopped the killing, that’s it. Women do not deserve any form of chivalry at all beyond that and should…

Sigh. I love writing. The problem is I’m too lazy I can’t seem to find anything worthy to write about. So I came out with stuff like above. It is entertaining to me. I've written loads like that, maybe one day I'll compile them all and publish it in this blog. It will be under ‘I couldn’t care less’ tag, the stuff where I write whatever I have in mind without sugar coating it or without thinking about the repercussion that could come from it. That would be fun, wouldn’t it? And I will put a disclaimer, “I may or may not mean what I write here”, just so no one could use it against me.

Anyway, like I said I love writing. If only I had more drive in me I’d probably be writing seriously right now. If a guy who tweets about his 70 year old dad ramblings can have a New York Times best seller and a sitcom under his belt, I like to think I’m in with a good chance as well.

But I’m still here in this blog, writing about nothing with hardly any readers at all. Don’t worry, I’m fine with it. The reason I started this blog was so I can channel out whatever I feel inside. I’m a very private guy, I don’t really let my feelings out even to the people dearest to me. This blog is my ‘wall punching’, my ‘covering face with pillow and yell your heart out’ thing. It has served me pretty well so far.

I do feel proud of this blog. Looking back and reading back from the very first entry on here, I think I’ve done a good job 'recording' my life journey so far. There are entries that I’m really proud of, that put a smile on my face reminiscing. There are entries that bring tears to my eyes and there are also entries that make me cringe. Can’t believe it has only been three and a half years since I started it. The things I wrote in here are like a very distant memory, things that happened to me a long, long time ago. To that, I’m thankful.

I can’t say I have changed much, but I have changed. Things around me have changed. People around me have changed. The way I see things definitely changed. The most important thing that I have realized is people are idiots. Right left centre you have idiots coming at you from every direction. People who play the victim cards are the biggest idiot, and the most dangerous. The most selfish people are the people who appeared as the most unselfish at first. In short, people are hypocrites, even the nicest of people. And I think in my own way, I’ve learned how to deal with them a lot better.

I’m still not where I’m supposed to and want myself to be. However now I see that as a good thing because I feel only corpses should be where they are supposed to be. Very few things should be where they are supposed to be.

I will keep using this blog to pour out what I feel inside. The entries will be a lot less frequent and far in between but I don't think I will ever abandon it. This blog is something that is precious to me and I hold it very dearly.

Here's to another three and a half years of The Good Boy...

Banking On The Funny

Something funny happened today.

I received a letter from a bank. RHB Bank to be exact, the bank who claims to make banking much simpler to Malaysian; what a noble bank. Seeing RHB’s name on the letter made me happy, because I thought they miss me or something. You see, I was their credit card holder for a few years. I terminated the card a few months back quite simply because their rewards and discounts suck.

So seeing their letter I thought they wanted to wish me Selamat Hari Raya or since my birthday is coming soon (21st Oct, don’t forget!) I thought they wanted to offer me some nice pre-birthday gift. It wouldn’t surprise me if they did because I was a good little customer of theirs. I never missed a due date and once I even pay them extra money for my credit card (true story, I got my credit card bill once stating they owe me money!).

Anyway, there I was happily tearing the letter open and guess what, they are chasing after me because I haven’t settled my credit card payment! And this is the priceless part, I owe them an earth shattering grand total of RM0.04! Four cents! 4. Cents. That’s four of the ugly tiny little coins that do not have any value anymore!

Now I honestly thought I’ve settled the full amount of what I owed them when I terminated the card. Looking back though, it is possible that I just rounded up the amount owed and paid a little less. RM0.04 less. And it is possible I rounded it up because I thought a bank won’t care about the four cents. Looks like I’m wrong. Obviously that four cents are very important to them, what with banks paying their top people 100 year bonuses and all, every cent counts!

At that time surely I’d have thought they will just write off the four cents, but no, they really want their four cents. They want it so bad that they are willing to spend more than four cents in ink cartridges and paper and postage and manpower to send me a letter to remind me about the four cents I owe them. Brilliant!

I like their letter too. They try hard to be polite in telling me they are a bunch of tight-asses.

Dear Sir,

We wish to advice that your account is past due.
You may have overlooked the payment due to your busy schedule. The only thing I overlooked was the fact that you banks are tight-asses.
We appreciate if you could remit the minimum amount due to regularize the account. I’m sure your top people would appreciate my would-be four cents contribution to their 100 year bonus.
Please contact our Collection Unit if you require further clarification. Don’t count on it.
Please disregard this notice if you have made the payment. Other than writing this to ridicule your bank, I’ll disregard your notice regardless; further payment or not.

Now this is the best part. At the bottom of the letter, there is a paragraph about Bank Negara’s Counseling and Credit Management Agency. Hah, I so need counseling on how to manage my RM0.04 debt! Thanks a lot!

You know what, since they are being so polite about it I think I’m going to pay. To RHB, I hope your cash deposit machines are able to accept coins, or be prepared to scour for four little tiny ugly coins inside your cash deposit machine at Taipan.

Random Thoughts 5 - I Love My Country Edition

There are so many things happening to our beloved country right now. For the deluded type, let me make it clear to you. When I say ‘so many things’, I mean BAD things. BAD, TERRIBLE things. Bad things that make me wish we let the communist rule the country back then. Sigh.
But nevermind, like most Malaysian, I am ch…… wait, I have to rephrase that. Like most MALAYS, I am choosing to bury my head in the sand, pretending everything is ok, and occupying myself with my personal life instead. The love (Malays got to have love), the relationship, the tears, the DRAMAs (and Malays definitely need dramas!), I’m choosing all that over everything else because they are most convenient for me. Who cares about the rest of the things, right?


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Well well, it is almost that time of the year again. It is almost budget time, Belanjawan! I love Belanjawan. I used to follow the live telecast every year. Not anymore, because my favorite part of it has now gone. It was the part when Anwar introduces new words to the masses. It’s like he will say “Listen up peasants, from now on I want all of you to use the word ‘XXXX’ in every single cycle of your life. Why? Because I’m standing up here, and you peasants are way below down there, so you have to listen to me!”
Then all of us will clap our hands, praise him for his brilliance in shoving himself into our faces, then we laugh, then we praise him some more. Then the next morning, in every single newspaper, the words he chose for us got printed on every page, so we will never forget. Then everybody praises him and laugh some more.
Good old times, let's bring it back!


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1Malaysia – People first, Performance now!
Now where do I start?
Let me try to make it short and simple. I think 1Malaysia is a spectacular example of ‘one way re-branding / PR’ effort (Does that term exist?). I have never come across something that on the surface, and by ‘surface’ I mean the mainstream media, have no words except for lavish compliments towards it; but just underneath the surface, and by ‘underneath the surface’ I mean regular people on the street, have no words except for spiteful criticisms. How can anything be so contrasting, I do not know. Now I’m not against controlled and moderated media, in fact I’m a firm believer of it, but on this 1Malaysia deal, it is just super-zealously ridiculous. Thank God for the internet, if not I would come to the conclusion that 1Malaysia is perceived by the people of this country as the best thing since sliced bread.


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Ok, on to serious stuff now. Yesterday while driving back from work, I think I heard on the radio that the government is mulling over an increase of cigarettes tax by 20cents per stick. Or maybe someone suggested for the government to do that, but that’s not the point. The point is, increase of 20cents per stick?!!! Are you crazy? Our government might be evil, our government might be stupid, but I don’t think they are crazy. So most probably, I heard it wrong. I mean, it can’t be 20cents per stick! That’s RM4 increase! Yes, I definitely heard it wrong.
Anyway, when it comes to cigarettes price increase, it is not whether it will happen or not. It is inevitable, only a question of how much, because for Belanjawan, it comes with the territory. (I remember only once the price remained, and that only because the price was increased just before budget).
I’m still waiting for someone in the parliament, or anyone important for that matter, to stand up for the smokers. I want someone in the parliament to say out loud that smokers are the most marginalised group in the country. I’m still waiting for that special someone that can give smokers the respect they lost, the respect as a human being. If people can defend gays, can make sure drug addiction becomes safer, can say wearing tudung is not wajib, surely it won’t be too much to ask to do the same for smokers. Surely?


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Below is something I found on the net. Probably it is from a standup show from some angry funny guy. I just find it really interesting. So read on, especially all you non-smokers. This guy talks sense. I’d vote for him as our prime minister!

I smoke, if this bothers anyone, I recommend you looking around the world in which we live and... shutting your fucking mouth. Either that or suffer a facial burn, your choice. After all this is America, land of freedom, so you have that option ahead of you. I now realize I smoke for simply one reason, and that is spite. I hate you non-smokers with all of my little black fucking heart, you obnoxious, self-righteous, whining little fucks. My biggest fear, if I quit smoking, is that I'll become one of you. Now don't take that wrong. How many non-smokers do we have here tonight? By round of applause, non-smokers. A few of you. Good, 'cause I have something to tell you. I do. I have something to tell you non-smokers, and this is for you and you only, because I know for a fact that you don't know this. And I feel it's my duty to pass on information at all times, so that we can all learn, evolve, and get the fuck off this planet. Non-smokers, this is for you and you only, ready? NON-SMOKERS DIE EVERY DAY. Sleep tight. See, I know you entertain some kind of eternal life fantasy because you do not smoke cigarettes. May I be the first to pop that little fucking bubble of yours, and send you hurtling back to the truth? You're dead too. Have a good evening. And you know what doctors say, "Shit, if only you smoked, we'd have the technology to help you! It's you people dying from nothing that are screwed." I got all sorts of neat gadgets waiting for me, man.

Isn’t he fabulous? One of the great minds in our era for me!


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Last but not least, I have a message for what it seems the most popular couple on the planet right now. In this age of time where people pretend to care about the environment, I suggest you two built a statue on every corner of the streets in this country. You know, so we can save a lot of pages in our newspapers from having to feature your pictures every single day (and by every single day I mean EVERY FREAKING SINGLE DAY!). I bet this way, in 365 days, we can manage to save more trees in our rainforest than our anti illegal logging enforcement team can in 3650 days.
You know it makes sense!

Speed Perception

Perception is a tricky thing. How you see things might be the complete opposite to what the realities are. How you tell things might be seen in the reverse of the very meaning you intended it to be.

I should realise this by now, I should have this planted deep inside my mind but unfortunately it is not. Time and again I was made to realise this fact but still I’m so easily intimidated and wowed when I met someone new. They will tell me about themselves, give their views about things and more often than not I will go ‘wow!’.

I’m so different from most people. I will instead stress to them that I suck at everything so no one will have high expectations on me. No one will give me too much attention and that way I can hide from the spotlight. I hate being the center of attention. But of course because of that no one take me seriously as well. I will look so pathetic to them. I think I am how I am because I lack confidence. I need to change I know, and trust me I am trying to change.

They say the first step to change is admitting the need to change. So I guess I’m on to the 2nd stage now, imagining and planning about how I’m going to change.

Here goes. I have always wanted to try speed dating. I think it might be fun! It sure looks fun in the movie Hitch. Don’t worry, it’s not like I’m expecting to find my soul mate there. I just want to see how it will be like. But I don’t want to go alone though. So if any of you out there interested to go, just let me know and I’m in!

Ok, getting off track a bit there. Let’s get back to the point I’m making. I’m going to imagine myself in speed dating, telling a complete stranger about myself and wowing them so they will find me interesting. That’s the whole point right?

So imagine me seating in front of a girl who knows nothing about me. And I’m telling bits about myself to impress her.

Me : Hi there Scarlett. Nice to meet you. My name is GB.

Girl : Hi GB, nice to meet you.

Me : Wow, you are so pretty and sexy. I like your messy hair.

Girl : Err, you are supposed to tell me about yourself.

Me : Err, ok. You are not supposed to talk though. Just listen.

Girl : ......

Me : Ok. Let’s start again. My name is GB. I’m staying in Rawang. I’m the youngest of four. I work in PJ, with one of the leading company in its field as a PR exec. We have projects all over Asia, in particular Indonesia where they look so highly of us.

Girl : Wow...

Me : Yes, I know! Wow, right? But hey, you are not supposed to talk, remember?

Girl : Sigh...

Me : Ok. Hmm, what else? Ok I guess on to my interests now. I like to write. I mean I LOVE to write. I have a great beautiful blog where I publish all my writings and poetry... I know! Wow again right? I mean, I write poetry. You got to ‘wow’ that.

Girl : ......

Me : Poor you, I’m making you speechless. Don’t worry, I know I am so interesting it’s intimidating, but inside the fabulous-ness, I’m just a normal humble guy. I’m not done yet though, so be prepared for further wow-ness... Ok, let’s continue. My other interests. Let see, I like tennis, I played tennis and I was a very good player during my school days. I was the champ for 3 years running. But I don’t play anymore though, too busy with my career nowadays. Well what you gonna do right?... I also like football. I’m a big fan of Liverpool. You know that famous Istanbul game, I watched every single minutes of it live. Can you believe that? Even when we were down by three goals, I stuck with my beloved team and in the end I celebrated a miraculous win. Good times. Do you like football?

Girl : Yes, I’m a fan of Man Utd.

Me : Are you serious? Whyyyyy? You screwed up there love. You couldn’t have made a worst choice. But don’t worry. It’s not too late for you to repent. I can guide you. You can switch to being a Liverpool fan. Don’t worry ok? I will help you. What do u say to that? Do we have a deal?

Girl writes something on a piece of paper and hold it up for me to see. “I’M NOT SUPPOSED TO TALK”

Organiser : Ok everyone, time’s up. Now let’s move on the next person.

Girl : THANK GOD!

See, I can be interesting too. It’s not difficult at all. I can 'wow' strangers. I can totally pull it off. So let’s speed date and turn reality upside down!

Love Poetry

Sometimes you are the definition of simplicities,
To think what I write is my exact reflection,
When my little fingers tapping the keys,
Often only to fill the void, as a relaxation.

Now you don’t always get it wrong,
As your hunch can be eerily accurate,
But in this you can’t possibly be more wrong,
Because they are just made ups, things I create.

So say it no matter how many times,
You can spin it in any ways you want,
Point your fingers to me until they are numb,
The fact is I’m just having a bit of fun.

And just to prove that I’m right.
I’m not going to write her love poetry,
Not now, not this time, not tonight,
Simply because you expect me to, sweetie.

I’m not going to write her love poetry,
‘Cause you want me to,
As you expect me to..
:p

Inspired by 'Love Song', Sara Bareilles...

Random Thoughts 4

Above is the mental note I made to myself because although I know I’ve gained a lot of weight, I still look for my previous size when I’m trying out clothing. Stupidity to the max. Stupidity that leads to indescribable frustration when I’m in the dressing room. Stupidity that was born out of denial. So I hope after this when I’m choosing clothing off the rack, I’ll look straight for my new undesired size, because I’ve made that mental note for myself.


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I’m thinking to get a new car in the near future. I’ve made a shortlist of the cars that I would like to have. Caldina, Hyundai i30, Peugeot 407 and Volkswagen Golf. Unfortunately I can’t afford any of those so I tossed the list away. Looks like it will be either Persona or Neo. I LOVE Neo when it first came out but I think I’m too old for it now (sigh). So Persona it is then. I’ve already browsed a few forums to see what people think of it and although complaints about stupid poor quality of Proton interior still dominated, surprisingly quite a few people claimed Persona drives better on highway than Honda City. Hmmm…..


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Do you know the saying ‘Love the one who loves you’ ? (Or something like that). I think it is an incredibly stupid saying. If everyone follows the saying, no one will be in love. Everyone will only wait for the others to fall in love first. So everyone will stay single. Do you see how stupid it is?

“Why aren’t you in love?”
“Because no one loves me. We can only love the one who love us, remember?”
“But they are also waiting for you to love them first!”
“Yup, that’s the problem.”

Incredibly stupid!


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I wanna quit smoking but I honestly don’t know if I can do it. It’s getting worse for me, I’m now depending on it to make sure my day doesn’t suck. (Hmm, I have to rephrase that, I’m now depending on cigarettes to minimize the suckiness of my day). I read somewhere that one of the steps to quit smoking is that you need to gradually reduce the frequency of it, that every time you feel the urge to smoke, try to delay it for as long as you can. Well I’m trying that now, but my god, I got really grumpy when I delay it! I seriously cannot control how angry I get. I know that it is the urge that making me angry but still every little thing just make me feel like headbutting the wall! I’m worried about how I’m going to cope with it this coming puasa. It was bad for me last year and now that I’m getting worse, this year promises to be a torture. Wish me luck!


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The show ‘Secrets of Magicians Revealed’ is a bit like a reflection of my life right now (dramatic I know). What I mean is, every time they play the teaser for that show I really can’t wait to watch it. How magicians make the girl floats and then cut her into 2, how magicians make an elephant disappear right in front of our eyes and how magicians do that ‘magic door’ trick where suddenly out of nowhere a whole group of people can come out from behind the door when just seconds before there was nothing behind it. So the teaser always make me wait for the show excitedly and when I finally get to watch it, when I finally understand how magicians do their tricks, I got bitterly disappointed. Suddenly those tricks seem too simple too stupid. The mystery is gone and I regret watching it. It’s the mystery that I want, figuring it out is what attracts me. Once the mystery is gone, once I figured it out, I lost interest, I got disappointed and I feel stupid. Once I have it it my hands it bores me to death.
I need to be carefull about this.

50 Questions

Shamelessly stolen from Reading Ayu...

1.Your name spelled backwards.

Irzah. Pretty name. I’m still working on getting my friends to name their daughters that.

2. Where were your parents born?
Don’t know. I don’t know anything about my parents. How old they are, the year they got married, etc2. I should get an award for being the most useless son ever.

3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
Mariah Carey’s Butterfly. The best album ever. Brings back the memory.

4. What's your favourite restaurant?
Don’t know. I don’t think I have one. KFC maybe… Shut up!

5. Last time you swam in a pool?
3-4 years back maybe? Bad news for all you girls out there, I may never again swim in a pool.

6. Have you ever been in a school play?
Yes, in this slapstick Ultraman play. Do you know the version of Ultraman where it needs a guy and a girl to combine to become one? That was me! Err, as the guy I mean, not the girl.

7. How many kids do you want?
Two. A boy and a girl.

8. Type of music you dislike most?
Dangdut. Funnily enough I recently referred to my style of writing as ‘the dangdut of writing’.

9. Are you registered to vote?
Yes. Voted for the opposition even though I’m a supporter of the government.

10. Are you homesick?
I wish. Trust me, I wish I am. :-(

11. Have you ever ridden on a moped?
Now why would I want to do that?

12. Ever prank call anybody?
Stop giving me ideas!

13. Ever get a parking ticket?
Yes, and I ain’t paying.

14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
Only if my life depends on it.

15. Furthest place you ever travelled?
Anfield. On a big European night, with the Kop going all out with the flag day (through the idiot box of course).

16. Do you have a garden?
I used to have one of those little cacti in the little pot. Does that count?

17. What's your favorite comic strip?
Calvin & Hobbes, Baby Blues, Dilbert.

18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?
I even know Rukun Negara, Negeri Sembilan anthem and that ‘Setia’ song.

19. Bath or Shower, morning or night?
Shower, morning and night, all the time. Because I'm lazy.

20. Best movie you've seen in the past month?
I love you man.

21. Favorite pizza topping?
I don’t know. But I sure don’t like the Tandoori topping. Ridiculous.

22. Chips or popcorn?
Popcorn.

23. What color lipstick do you usually wear?
Err… This is what I get for answering 'chicks' questions.

24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells?
I didn’t even know it was possible.

25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
I’ve been in a ‘Pakaian Beragam’ contest while in kindergarten, dressed as a baby. Complete with botol susu and puting. I lost. Stupid judges.

26. Orange or Apple juice?
Apple I guess.

27. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine?
With my friend from Subang. Dinner at uptown SA.

28. Favorite type chocolate bar?
Snickers. By far!

29. When was the last time you voted at the polls?
The last election.

30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
How about never?

31. Have you ever won a trophy?
Yes. My biggest trophy (literally) has got to be the one I won in my school tennis tournament. It was only a school tournament, but my god our coach really like to glamorise us, hence the very huge inappropriate trophy.

32. Are you a good cook?
I roasted grasshoppers a few times when I was a kid. Then I fed them to the ants. I guess the ants would say I was a good cook.

33. Do you know how to pump your own gas?
Yes. It’s not rocket science.

34. Ever order an article from an infomercial?
I think I ordered one thing for my mum. Can’t remember what it was.

35. Sprite or 7-up?
Are there any difference?

36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work?
No. But I have a friend who does. Loser!

37. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy?
A brush you use for showering. A God sent!

38. Ever throw up in public?
Yes, when I was a kid. Think I get car sick back then.

39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love?
Millionaire. Then I can buy love. Who cares if it’s true love or not.

40. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Yes, but I also believe in Santa Claus.

41. Ever call a 1-800 number?
Hmm, I don’t think so..

42. Can exes be friends?
Why? We should all want our exes to die horrible deaths.

43. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital?
Thankfully a friend who gave birth.

44. Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby?
I’ll ask my mum later.

45. What message is on your answering machine?
Standard message that the telco provides. I have stupid voice. And I can't pronounce words properly. Instead of leaving messages people would just laugh.

46. What's your all time favourite cartoon character?
Homer J Simpson – “To alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all life’s problems”.

47. What was the name of your first pet?
I never named my pets.

48. What is in your purse?
I don’t have a purse thankfully.

49. Favorite thing to do before bedtime?
You don’t wanna know.

50. What is one thing you are grateful for today?
That I can still ‘feel’. Seriously, I’m grateful for that. That's what I prayed for a few years back and now I 'feel', full blast!

My First Crush

I still remember this girl I met when I was about 10 I think, not really sure. (Actually ‘saw’, not ‘met’, and from far!). I was at a hospital then somewhere in Terengganu, visiting my grandma. The girl was at the hospital for a woman who looked to be her mum. She was probably my age or maybe even younger. The first time I saw her, she was in her cute blue baju kurung.

I don’t know what it was, but I just can’t take my eyes off her. She was cute for sure, but I don’t think that was the reason I can’t stop staring at her. Maybe it was because she impressed me. While I, as a brat, shadowed my mum all the time, she was doing stuff for her sick mum. She basically took care of her mum and she did it without looking awkward at all. And I could’ve sworn she did it alone because I cannot remember seeing anyone else with her at any point of time. (Admittedly, I didn’t remember anyone else probably because I just focused on her and ignored everyone else).

Anyway, we visited my grandma everyday for a week and although I felt hospitals were creepy at that time, I just cannot wait to go there because of the girl. I just wanted to meet (I mean see) the girl again. So the whole time I was at the hospital, I stared at her. Watching her getting water for her mum, watching her towelling her mum, watching her helping her mum to eat, watching her…

And she noticed me watching her. Of course she did. A few times she looked back at me, and one time she even gave me a smile. And I was in love…

I wish I could say here that I managed to gather enough courage to finally go talk to her. That we became friends. That we stayed in touch till today…

I didn’t do anything. Every time she looked back at me I looked away, pretending I didn’t even notice her. Guess what I did when she smiled at me that one time? I frowned.

Well I was 10. You can’t expect a 10 year old to pick up a girl at a hospital (who was taking care of her sick mum by the way), can you? I don’t even know how to pick up a girl right now and I’m already 30! So I guess it was understandable that I didn’t do anything about that girl.

But I managed to do one thing though, I know her name. It was Ana. Or Ena. Or maybe Nana. I heard her mum called out her name and it had something with ‘Na’ in it, so I think most probably her name was Ana. What a beautiful name!

I saw her every single day for that week, didn’t do anything about it and I never saw her again after that.

Thinking about it now, I’m convinced she is my soulmate. We are meant to be with each other. That’s why I’m single right now, to wait for her to come back to me, to wait for the moment for us to be re-united (although we never were in any sort of forms being united).

So Ana (or Ena/Nana), if you are reading this, you know what to do.

Loser's Log

I went out on a date last Friday night,
With this girl so hot my jeans got tight,
I tried to kiss her under the moonlight,
Got kicked in the nuts but don’t worry I was alright.

I wanted to call you right after she left,
Wanted to tell you ‘bout the beating I just had,
But I went against it because I was scared,
What would you think of me and colour me bad.

I planned to go jogging Saturday morning,
Well I had to really, my tummy is ballooning,
Wearing my all new gears I started stretching,
One simple move later I heard sound of bones breaking.

So I spent the rest of the day nursing the pain,
Thought of calling you to whine and complaint,
Didn’t do it though for a reason I won’t explain,
I felt my whining isn't something you would entertain.

Stayed at home the whole of last Sunday,
Read a book about this guy who turned gay,
And secretly in my heart I hoped and prayed,
One day you will love me and stop me going that way.

Later that night I dialed your number,
Wanted to ask you to go out for supper,
But you were probably out with your friends so super,
You won’t even remember my name, so I thought why bother.

You see,
I want to share so many things with you,
Call you all the time, talk about what’s new,
In everything I do, I think of you,
No exaggeration there, believe me it’s true.

Maybe one day I will let you know,
Maybe someday I will try again,
Until then I guess you can pretend you don’t know,
And save me the embarrassment from the rejection again.



** Inspired by Blink 182, the funniest band ever! **

Don't Choose Orange, It Is Cursed!

Orange is an awkward colour. It’s a bright, showy colour that needs certain qualities for anyone to pull it off wearing it. Not many would choose to wear orange when stepping out of their house. That’s why a few weeks back when I noticed that EON Bank changed its colour from white to orange, I was quite surprised (and a little bit disturbed by it). I think it was a bad move. What were they thinking?

In Legally Blonde, Reese Witherspoon said “Whoever said orange was the new pink is seriously disturbed". Well I think the person who is in charge of branding for EON Bank is seriously disturbed for choosing orange, because it is very inappropriate for a big corporate company to use it as their official colour. Orange signifies lots or energy, youthfulness, fun, playfulness, etc. So for a bank to use it as their corporate colour……hmmm, seriously, what were they thinking?

Ok, I have to hold my hands up and admit I’m not the biggest fan of the colour and therefore I must have certain prejudice on everything orange. So because of that I might be too harsh on EON Bank regarding this. Orange will certainly make people notice EON Bank more so maybe it will work out well for them. I sincerely hope so because I have nothing against them. I may hate EON service with all the hatred in the world, but I have nothing against the bank. So good luck to them.

But like I said, I’m prejudiced about the colour orange, and I have pretty good reasons for that.

You see, I have a cousin. A sweet, soft spoken, kind hearted beautiful girl. She was engaged, to a guy that had a brilliant career ahead of him. The two families, hers and the guy’s, have long been friends. It was like a match made in heaven. Unfortunately, she made one big mistake. She chose orange as the theme colour of her wedding. And guess what, one month before her big day, she called off her engagement. Out of the blue, just like that. It came as a surprise to everyone because like I said, the couple was like a match made in heaven. It was the colour I tell you, orange, it is cursed.

Think I’m talking out of my arse? Well hold your horses, I’m not done yet.

GUP, it’s going down. It is inevitable. Now all GUP can do is to wait for its certain death, like a prisoner in the death row. How can that be possible? How can right now GUP awaits certain death when it had a start that the whole country remember until now, the start which at that time left a big impact not only in the country but also on the whole world? With all the money and an all star line up of who’s who of Malaysian corporate figure leading it, how can it be in the state it is in now? Yup you’ve guessed it, GUP colour is orange!

Seriously, think about it. I’m not going to name names here, but trust me, the people who lead GUP are brilliant, with the power and connection most people would die for. They are not just some novices in their respective fields, they are the main men. Powerful, brilliant, experienced group of people, but they are failing to keep something that had a mighty strong start alive. Believe me, it’s the colour!

It is not so much the fact that we are going down that bothers me. Businesses go bankrupt all the time, companies shut down their operations every passing day. That is just how things are. Sometimes they go well, sometime they don’t. It is the manner in which we are handling us going down that bothers me. We are still in denial, instead of accepting the fact that we are in deep shit, we are ignoring it and act like nothing bad is happening. How can it be like that? Why are they acting stupid? Why do they keep telling the staff that everything is as rosy as ever? We are a small team, they should let everyone know it’s bad so we can prepare for it….but they are not. These are our jobs we are talking about. Our security. Our future. They keep lying even when being confronted. We asked them directly and they said everything is fine. Why?

IT’S THE COLOUR! CURSED AND DAMNED!

The colour orange is to be blamed for GUP’s failure. Orange is making the big bosses turn into selfish monsters. Orange is making their brains melt. Orange is making the bosses ignore the welfare of the staff. Orange is making them cowards. ORANGE!

I pity these powerful, brilliant, experienced people because orange is screwing them up, turning them into idiots. Dignified, noble people who became lowly, ignoble ogres. Poor them, it is not their fault, it is the colour.

So don’t make the same mistake that GUP did. Don’t choose orange in whatever you are doing. It is not worth the risk. Don’t play with fire. Do not choose orange. If you see the colour orange anywhere, stay as far away as you possibly can!

To EON Bank, good luck to them. They will need all the luck in the world to survive the colour. Hopefully they will manage to break the ‘orange curse’.

For all you out there, remember, avoid orange. It is for your own good.

Idiot

Can I just blame you
For the way I am right now,
Before I met you
Words off my mouth were never foul

Or are they to blame
When 'righteous' and 'pure' me turned bad,
Too much love bring shame
‘Be cruel to be kind’ and all that

Or is it the world
‘Nasty’ and ‘ Mean’ it has been called,
Too cold with no soul
Too cursed to have roses on the wall

Yup those are the reasons
You and them with the whole world,
Wiping my innocents
Tainted me in the rotten mould

It can’t possibly be my fault
Written on the stars no matter what,
A white piece of cloth
Up to you how I’m coloured and cut

I’m a hopeless victim
Always have and always will be,
Fragile heart that I am
Need all the loving from everybody

So be nice to me
Let it go when I’m being an ass,
When you’re mad at me
Remember the world to me is a tough test

Tearing My Hair Out

You know what sucks? When the time comes for you to finally get something that you really wanted, after you’ve been waiting for so long, only for you to be told that you need to wait a little while longer.

Things happened recently that made me feel like the whole excitement and happiness in me was taken out painfully and replaced with huge disappointments.

First, I finally managed to gather all my nerve to buy an N-series. I’ve wanted to buy it since last year and since my plea to family and friends to buy it for me was ignored, I have been saving for it, bit by bit. I bought it on Tuesday, using my birthday as an excuse, excitedly planning to show it off to everyone. But to my big disappointment, it didn’t happen. I have to return the phone because there was a problem with the camera. How suck is that? I could have paraded it at my dad’s birthday dinner, could have taken pictures of the belly dancer, but no, I have to wait a little bit more.

Then I also found out that season 7 of The Shield, the greatest TV series ever, has only just started showing in US. I think they are now at the 4th episode. That means I have to wait for quite sometime for the DVD to be available. I already have season 1-6, and season 7 being the final season is going to be the best ever. Being a big fan of it, you can imagine how excited I was to complete my collection. I knew there were some problems with the production of season 7 because of the Hollywood writer’s strike, but at that time they were almost done with the shooting so I thought whatever problems occurred, it won’t take long for them to finish it. Obviously I’m wrong, and obviously I’m very disappointed right now. I'd be lucky if they started selling the DVD early next year.

My third disappointment is work related. GUP was supposed to participate in this big exhibition next weekend, it will be my project. I’ve made plan for it since August and was so happy to have something to work on because playing Mobwar all day can be a little bit boring. But then my boss ruined it all for me by saying we have to pull out because we don’t have the budget for it. We can’t even afford to pay for the exhibition fee! Why the hell did he tell me we were going to join when he knew we can’t afford it from the start?!! I was so looking forward to next weekend but now, again, I’m left disappointed.

What a tragic life I’m living right now. It’s like nothing is going right for me.

A phone that has all these features I don't need was taken away from me, the new season of the TV series that I loved is not out on DVD yet and a weekend job that I don’t get to do.

Can you see how sucky my life is right now?

Sigh, enough complaining, I have to go. I need to look for the latest update on these tsunami victims in Sri Lanka, who are still homeless after all these years. Hmm....

Sweet October

This week is definitely the fastest week for me this year. Seems like it was only yesterday that I cursed the pakcik who sold lemang for RM12 because the lemang was not that nice. Seems like it was yesterday that I got all excited about putting on my new bed sheet which has ‘sleepy head’ written all over it. Now I have less than 35 hours before going back to work. I want more holidays!

This week is also one of the most tiring weeks ever. My family and I really did ‘beraya’ this year, we went out every day since day one. I pity the kids who always come to our house for their duit raya collection because we were never home. It has been quite a while since we ‘beraya’ like this and I have forgotten how tiring it can be. But it was all fun, especially our trip to Behrang because we skipped Behrang last year (and the year before, I think).

Like I said, the week flew by too fast that I couldn’t find the time to finish a couple of posting for this blog. I planned to get it done this week because they have been pending for quite a while, now I’m not sure where I’m going to find the time to finish it. If only I had my own laptop, it will certainly make it easier for me to write. Writing using pen and paper has stopped being an option long ago. Brat!

However, there is one thing that I like about the time right now, it is already October. October is the month where it really matters every year. October is my birthday month! I’ll be officially 29 on 21st, and I’m going to buy myself that thing that I want for my birthday, at whatever cost. I have also reminded everyone about my 29th birthday since last year by telling them to put aside money every month, so they will have enough to spend for my gifts this year. I told them it would be like my birthday fund. They thought I was joking but I was not. I was dead serious and I will shamelessly claim my gift come 21st. So be prepared everyone!

Don’t know what to get me? Don’t be silly, it’s easy! I will update my wish list in this blog so be alert. You don't want to be in my bad book!

Injustice - A Smoker's View

I heard from a very good source of mine (if I told you who I will have to kill you!) that the price of cigarettes will go up soon, AGAIN!

“What the hell??! Are you kidding me?!” was my reaction when I was told about it. Where is the justice in that? Think about it for a second. This is ridiculous!

We smokers are the most unfortunate group of people in the country. Our basic human rights are constantly being violated and yet no one is willing to stand up for us, no politician willing to protect us. It's unbelievable!

We can’t smoke in public places, we have posters everywhere plainly ridiculing us, the media only have bad things to say about us and cigarette companies are not even allowed to have any marketing campaign for their product. Remember about Dunhill being forced to drop their sponsorship for our football league? What was that all about? Now they can’t even sell small pack cigarettes anymore. Not all smokers can afford to buy large pack of cigarettes every time you know.

When the price of flour went up by 20 cents the uproars were unbelievable. NGO groups made loud noise about it. Every activist spoke up against it. All of them seemed willing to die fighting against the 20 cents hike. 20 CENTS! Come on, the level of cigarettes price hike is a lot worse, it’s on par with the petrol price hike. Why are we not doing anything about it? Are we all blind?

When the cigarette price went up by 80 cents last year, not only no one was against it, they were all applauding the hike! Where were the big shot politicians who claimed they care for the community? It is funny when they say “we are just public servants, we are working for the good of our community” because they clearly neglected the needs of smokers, the largest group in our community. Now I don’t have the statistics but it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out the fact that we smokers are the majority. No wonder BN lose its 2/3 majority during the last election. It’s simple math really, you neglect the majority and you will lose.

One MP (can’t remember the name) tried to stand up for us, by pleading to the parliament to stop this suppression against smokers. He said the price hike of cigarettes should be stopped. “It’s not fair” he said. Now that guy, he deserved a medal. That’s the kind of guy I would vote for. He should be the prime minister. He cares.

We always talk about discrimination against race, the poor, the weak, the ugly; when are we going to start talking about discrimination against smokers? We are not bad people. It is our individual right in choosing to smoke. We are not giving others a hard time by smoking so why should we be discriminate? Ok I admit, smoking is not the best thing for ones health but it’s the same with fast food, mamak food, junk food etc. Those things kill as many people. Why not put pressure on them? Why picked on us?

So please open up your eyes and your heart. We are not asking for much. We are only asking to be respected and treated equally. Stop the discrimination. We are humans, the same as everyone else. Have a heart, show compassion. Let’s make this country a better place for everyone, including the smokers. Thank you….

The Art of ‘Managing Expectation’

I am smart. I have no doubt that is true.

However, I have a very bad case of inferiority complex. Something must have happened to me during my childhood because I practically have zero confidence. I’m also a lazy bum and because of that I just couldn’t care less about doing anything on my inferiority complex. My lack of confidence combined with my laziness equals me right now; quiet, shy, selfish, anti social & difficult to be with. At least that’s what I think people see me as when they meet me the first time.

How do I cope with all that? I mean no matter how bad my ‘tak kisah’ attitude is, I still need to do something with myself. For instance, how do I survive at work? Having no confidence and being lazy cannot be good for your career. I’ve found a simple way to deal with that. It wasn’t easy, as I had to think of a way that will suit my laziness. But as I said I’m smart so of course I managed to figure it out. All I do is lowering people expectation on me.

You know how we guys get a lot of credit for every little thing that we do, right? Husbands especially get it all the time from their wives. Like if we suddenly decided to do the laundry after 6 months of absolutely not touching the washing machine, we will get a statue built for us. If one day we decided to do the dishes, we will get a town named after us. So really it’s the same everywhere, lower others’ expectation and when you suddenly decide to show your true worth everyone will go gaga over you.

So yeah that’s what I do. It’s not the most dignified thing to do but it’s working so who cares. I will tell bad sad story of myself to others to win over their sympathy. I’ll get them to say “You poor thing! Now you just sit back and relax. Don’t you worry about anything because we will take care of everything for you.” So I just sit back and relax and play stupid until when I feel like it, I will show a little bit of my true worth and they will go “wow, you have truly outdone yourself! You deserve a big pat on your back.”

So take note everyone, learn to manage expectation. It is the key to eternal bliss!

Sigh…