A Plea To Self

The anger I have inside is getting ridiculous. Slowly it’s killing me. It’s killing the people around me. I need to get rid of it but I don’t know how.

The longer I keep it inside the worst it will get. I’m fully aware of that. Then why is it still there? Why can’t I free myself from it? I have tried all I can. This is not because of other people anymore. This is all me. I’m holding up my hands. I admit the problem is me. I can’t take it any longer.

They say admitting it is the first step. Now what? Confront it? Confront what? Who? What is the cause of my anger? I honestly do not know.

One day I will have to pay for all this. One day the consequences will get to me. By that time it might be too late. By that time maybe regretting is all I can do but it wont be of any good. Regrets wont turn back time. I need to do something now.

My anger is affecting me personally, my family. It’s affecting my work, my friends. It’s affecting everything that I care about. I can’t let this to continue. I have to put a stop to it.

If I’m really honest with myself I know what I have to do. But why am I not doing it? Have I strayed too far until I can’t see the path anymore? Maybe what I need are tragedies. Tragedies all the time. Maybe only then I will find my way back.

If that’s really what I need then be it. I deserve it.