Funny Ass Monkeys

Welcome to the Funny Ass Monkeys, where the powerfuls toy with the people’s number one interest, ass kissing knows no limit and doing the honorable thing perceived as being a coward.

He is a big fan, passionate and deeply cares about it.
Well, about a gizillion others are big fans, passionate and really care; does this mean we should have a gizillion life president?

He has bring millions into the game.
Trust me, there are others who can do that. And I’m sure there are others capable of doing this without twisting the arms of these sponsors, and surely manage the money better.

We will appeal for him to reconsider his resignation.
Please, stop your ass kissing and just follow suit with the resignation. You sound ridiculous.

I’m not a coward.
Don’t insult us and show your class. If you don’t have any, this is a good time to start having one.

Seriously, why are we even surprised at the outcome? Did we go into it with all guns blazing?
And stop blaming lack of patriotism, lack of spirit, we were just not good enough!
The sooner we accept that fact the better…

Feverish anger

How can anyone feel they have a god given right to be loved? Fuck it, are you really that thick?! “No matter what I do, love me, adore me, be there for me. Don’t expect anything from me, cause you are irrelevant. It is me, and only me that matters. JUST LOVE ME!”


Unconditional love? It exists but don’t expect it. You can hope, pray & dream but don’t you ever expect it, especially when you have done nothing to deserve it. You destroyed everything, you manipulative, 2 faced parasite!

You don’t deserve to be happy, ever!

Never again will I be so stupid.

Never again will I be so weak.

Good riddance, wish it had happened sooner!

Good or bad

Are you a good or a bad person? Try giving an honest answer…No, don’t give me that ‘we can’t judge ourselves’ crap. Answer it, as honest as you can. And give it some thought. Don’t just blurt out the answer for the sake of answering it... Got it? Ready with the answer? Now hold that thought…

When you do something good, let say for argument sake, helping a blind cross a road. Do you feel good about yourself? If you do, do you feel guilty for feeling that way? Should you feel guilty about feeling good over a good deed?

Why do you help that blind person in the first place? There could be a million reasons. Responsibility, sympathy, empathy. Which one? Or it could also be you don’t want to be seen as a bad person, or you won’t be able to stand the guilt if you don’t help. The guilt will kill you. Maybe you help because you were afraid God will punish you if you don’t. Is it wrong to do something good just because you are afraid of God’s punishments?

Something similar (or opposite, I’m confused) happened to me recently. I went to pasar malam without any particular purpose, just trying to calm myself. If I don’t calm myself, I might hurt someone (with my words, not physically… I just don’t do that). Being grumpy and moody. My family will be worried if I keep feeling down or whatever. I feel that walking around and watching other people will do me good. So I can say going to pasar malam was a good deed (can I?).

Anyway, I saw this one boy, maybe 5 or 6 years old. He was crying, loud. A classic case of a kid left behind by parents in a crowded place. Now I pity that kid because he was crying really hard. He was scared and angry at the same time. Scared of being alone and angry for being left behind. I really pitied him. And what did I do? Nothing. I ignored what happened and walked away.

Heartless? Maybe, but you see, I wanted to help the kid. Really, I do. But just as I about to walk over to him, my messed up brain start to think the way only a messed up brain do (refer to paragraph 2&3). Duh!!

There were so many people there. None of them did anything, they just watched. No one try to calm the kid down, talk to the kid or offered any help. They were just watching, same as me, and like me, I know they were all hoping that the kid’s parents will come back looking for their child. Just give it sometime and it will be alright. No need to be the centre of attraction, I don’t like being the centre of attraction.

I walked away partly because I don’t think there was much I can do. I don’t know who the parents were and from the looked of it the kid won’t be able to tell me either. I remember thinking “nothing bad going to happen to him, in a few minutes the parents will turn back and found their crying child”. So I walked away. 10 minutes later, I walked by the same place and there was no sign of the kids, I can’t hear any crying and everyone was busy with their own thing. So there, problem solved!

I guess what I’m trying to say here is if I saw a blind man trying to cross a road, I will not be the first one rushing to help him. Instead, I will wait and hope that others will. If, let say, in 5 minutes he is still hopelessly on the same side of the road, maybe then I will offer my help.

Like I said, I don’t like to be the centre of attention. For me, doing things like that will attract attention and I don’t want that. I get flattered way too easily. Just the thought of people seeing me doing nice things will wreck my good conscience (presume I have one). I read somewhere that feeling ‘riak’ (get a dictionary u lazy bum!), no matter how small, is a big sin. So being me, always looking for the easy way out, I tend to avoid all these things.

Messed up, I know. Maybe this is the work of the devil, doing their thing on me brilliantly. Whatever it is, this is me….

And to answer your curiosity, no, I don’t think I’m a good person. Mind you, I’m sure I’m not evil either…

How about u?

My so called life (it's corny, I know)

What do you make of your life? Wonderful? Sad? Non-existing? Well whatever it is, it’s your life. You have no choice but to accept your fate. Just get on with it…hmm, on second thought, maybe you do (have choices).

My life started out fine. The first 17 years, that’s what I thought. It was not extraordinarily good or bad, it was just…safe. Nothing to worry about, nothing to care about. The key word here is nothing. I certainly didn’t think enough about it at that time. They say ignorance is bliss. Well that is true, but when it turn around and bite you in the arse, you know you are screwed.

Like I said, at that time I thought my life was fine but looking back now it certainly wasn’t. It was sad. My motto at that time was, ‘when you have nothing, you have nothing to lose’. (My Along once added, “and you will have nothing to gain either”. And she’s right…not because I gave it a lot of thought, but because she’s always right, always!). I was a spoiled brat (maybe still am), ultimate original brat. The word brat was created for me. Pampered by my family, my family’s friends, teachers, and even my seniors and friends at school (weird!).

I got most things that I want, I was satisfied with everything I have, no goals, no ambitions. Spoon-fed all the time. I just sit still in my comfortable safe little world. I don’t take risk, I don’t take opportunities, I did nothing at all. I stayed out of trouble, behaved well most of the time (once got caught for not going to assembly and thought I was so cool). While my friends go here and there, do this and that, I just sit at home reading comics, daydreaming and playing mom’s favorite little brat. And the best part is, at that time, I thought I was the most ‘self-aware’ human being on the entire planet. I thought I was smart!

Now 10 years on, the feeling is still there. That uncontrollable ‘self-aware’ feeling. Only this time it makes me sad, because I know it’s not true…