Mother's Day Rant

I don’t get mother’s day. What is it about? Is the point of the day to celebrate the birth of mothers all over the world? Surely not. Each mother has their own birthday. They are not like Agong, once they become mothers their birthdays are fixed to one day, a day pegged to mothers only.

Or maybe it is to celebrate the day women become mothers. What a beautiful thought, but that can’t be the point. I can’t imagine if women can only get pregnant on one pre-set day. I could only see chaos.

So what is the point?

It is a day to celebrate mothers you idiot. It’s the day where we give them the appreciation they are due. Before you try to be a smart ass and be corny, no, this is not the only day we should show them love, this is not the only day we should appreciate them. This is the day dedicated to just mothers, so they will receive more love then any other days. This is their day. By having this day, we are teaching our young ones to appreciate mothers more. Don’t try to ruin it by being a smart ass. You might think you are being clever but trust me you’re only being a cliché.

Hmm, good point. Final nail on the coffin that. Maybe I should shut up now..

I won’t though and I’m not trying to be a smart ass here. I just really don’t get it.

Mother’s day is being too commercialised that the very objective of it is becoming one of the reasons mothers get less and less respect nowadays. It’s all good when you want to teach the young ones the value of showing appreciation and love towards mothers. But for me it is not being done in the right way. No explanation is given to the young ones (or not enough). They are told to do cards, buy gifts and give hugs and kisses to their mothers on the day ‘because mother’s day is a very special day and it is a day where we should all show our mothers how much we love them’.

I’m far too lazy to explain right now but I can see one day, on any other day, when they are told to clean the house, do the laundry and buy that nice bag for their mothers, they will go ‘Why? Her birthday will only be in six months and today is not a mother’s day”.

What I’m saying here is, mothers are special people that should be appreciate every single day, not just for one day, and that fact should be highlighted more. Unfortunately, for me, mother’s day will contribute to the exact opposite of that, and that is a pity.

Such a nice concept, such a nice theory but the applications of it are bull. For me mother’s day is nothing more than a scam, just like Valentine’s Day. They just want to make money out of it. I mean, how in the world is ‘Anugerah Mummy Bestari’ supposed to make you appreciate your mother more? Some people will use any reason to party! The day is becoming more important then mothers. We don’t celebrate mothers, we celebrate the day.

And what amuses me more is nowadays we have many who says ‘You don’t celebrate mother’s day? Man, what kind of son are you?’. For them, this is a very important day. Let’s stone and use sharp stick to stab people who ignore it. Sigh.

I can’t remember in my school days ever to celebrate the day. However, someone decided to make more money out of the day so they started telling Malaysians how even the Himalayan celebrates this day massively and that we were being primitive idiots for not doing the same. We then thought 'Wow the whole world, and most importantly the ‘mat saleh’ celebrate the day so we must too, because we want to be seen as trendy as them'. So here we are right now, we jumped on the bandwagon so we will be trendy. And we wanted our kids to be trendy as well. So that’s what we did. We told them to make cards for mummy, and think our job is done.

It’s like when you portray yourself as someone’s friend and you buy that person expensive birthday gifts and birthday treats, but then you ignore that friend for the rest of the year. That’s not nice, isn’t it?

I pray to God it won’t be like that with our mothers. It is fine to celebrate mother’s day as long as you realise the significance of it. Take note of the spelling. It’s mother’s, not mothers’. Think about it.

Round & Round

I am sitting in front of my newly bought netbook right now, trying hard to figure out what to write about. I just can’t think of anything to write. It’s not that I don’t have anything to say, nothing to share or whine on anymore; trust me, I have lots in my mind. If someone crack open my brain at this very moment, all kind of things will pour out. And I mean all kind of things; if you look hard enough you will probably find your bank account balance in there. (Don’t ask, I’m not going to explain it!)

So what is going on? Why am I finding it hard to write?

If I’m honest enough with myself, I know the answer. Of course I know the answer.

I’m simply tired of being wrong.

I am 30 years old now. With the things I’ve experienced, I thought I have learned a lot. And naturally when you learn a lot, you know a lot. But I don’t think I know anything at all. I keep doing the same mistakes over and over again. The more I see, hear and feel, the more confuse I get. When I think I’ve toughen up, that I’ve become stronger, I actually am still weak.

You know how scientists record their experiments on journals (or at least that’s how movies portray scientists), how they record their findings for future reference? The scientist will go something like, “this is Dr X, May 8^th, 2009. Today, 5 months after relinquishing his post as the president, I can confirm that George Jr’s brain finally showing sign of mild activity”.

Well this blog is like my experiment journal. Only it is a life experiment journal, not science (obviously). I express my feelings and my thoughts through this blog. Every time I think I have learned something, I will write it here. When I write it, I truly believe it. Unfortunately for me, I’m always wrong. And later when I find out what I write is nothing more then a load of bull, it disappoints me to no end.

I’m tired of being wrong, and I don’t want to be reminded about it anymore. That’s why I haven’t been writing much. I no longer care.

So, tired of being wrong and not caring are the reasons I’m writing less and less. OR, I’m just plain lazy. That is not so far fetched. I am lazy. What I wrote in the six paragraphs above was just me being a drama queen. Hmm..

Whatever!

An Update

So here we are, in the 2nd month of 2009, and things haven’t changed much for me since the day I started this blog. I still whine a lot, especially on…erm, wait. No ‘especially’, I still whine about everything. I guess the tone for this blog, that is a ‘whine arena’ for Good Boy, was written in stone right from the start, and that is what it will always be. It seems impossible to change it. Whining is my passion.

I’m still with GUP, though right now I’m actively looking for other jobs. Got a couple of interviews and fingers crossed, I will leave GUP soon. It’s getting really hard for me getting up in the morning to go to work. I despise GUP and it has come to a point where by just being in the office is like going through a never ending mental torture. Coupled that with this new very unbelievably unreal annoying irritating girl who joined recently, I just can’t take it anymore. GUP is killing me deep inside and I need to get out of it asap, or I might end up in mental asylum. No kidding!

And I’m still broke. While I’m not exactly eating maggi at every meal, my meager saving is getting more and more pathetic by the month. And it is made worse by the ever expanding things that I want. I didn’t use to ‘want’ things before, but now I just want everything. And the fact that I am nowhere near affording those things depresses me a whole lot. Never mind a Vaio, I can’t even afford a pair of jeans now. I don’t know what I do with my money, at the end of the month my current account is always in the negatives. Sigh…

Hmm what else….Let see, I’m still a narcissist, still angry and still a crybaby. I think that just about covers it all.

Anyway, I was saying things haven’t changed much, but a few things did change.

One of them was, I’ve gotten over my ex. For real. A friend is still skeptical about it but I’m completely healed now. It took about one and a half year for me to do that, not that bad really. I don’t know how it happened, but it did. One morning I woke up and bang, I felt free! Thank God! It was a painful memory but a priceless experience nonetheless. I like to think that I’m a stronger person now. However, having said that, the damage is done really. The scar remains. Every time I hear or see similar things to what I went through, I blow my top so much that it messes up my better judgment. It works like a trigger, and unfortunately I don’t think it will ever go away.

Another thing, I’m writing less and less now. I don't even write match report for Liverpool anymore. My last few postings on the blog were just some poems I wrote about nothing. I’m just too lazy. By writing poetry I feel that I don’t need to put too many thoughts in it. I can just leave it very vague without going into too much detail and still I can call it my ‘new writings’. I feel like I’m cheating. I’m not sure what causes my laziness to write but it is either because I’m relatively happy right now or I just run out of things to say. I’ve said in one of my postings some months ago that I feel more inspired when I’m angry or sad. Right now there are not too many things to be angry or sad about, which is good I guess.

Or like I said, maybe it is because I have run out of things to say. There was a time when I posted new entry for the blog every single day. That time, I would sit in front of my PC and think about what to write. I mean I would really squeeze my brain to get ideas out because I wanted my blog to have lots of entries. Well I can’t (or wont) do that anymore. I will end up writing rubbish if I do that now. So from now on, I will only write when I have something to write about. Not just to have more entries in my blog.

Ok I think I’ll stop here for now. My stomach is feeling really weird. Must be the satay. Ciao!

From The Heart

I wanted it so much to be you,
When my phone rang while I was deep in my sleep,
So I could tell you how much I missed you,
And that I wished you were by my side all the time.

I wanted it so much to be me,
When you were smiling and frowning deep in your thoughts,
Smiling reminiscing our sweet moments,
Frowning at the thought of how far apart we were.

I wanted it so much to be us,
When they were talking enviously about romance and true love,
How moon shone brightest when we were together,
And birds chirped cheerfully when our hands clasped tightly.

I wanted it so much to be you,
But now it is fading away with each passing minute,
And with each passing day we grow further apart,
And the yearning is dying bringing peace to the heart.

From Gold To Blood

I once knew a boy who teared gold,
When he cried, bowed the whole world,
When he screamed, fire turned cold.

Growing up he thought things stay the same,
Coming out he felt things laid to be claimed,
Blissfully he strolled to claim his fame,
But turned out he only claimed shame.

He soon learned he was mistaken,
Life after all was nothing like a game,
Crying foul he looked for things to blame,
But all the fingers pointed straight at him.

So he grabbed his hair and tore it out,
Kneed down beating chest and spouted out,
‘I’ve learned my lesson’ to the watching crowd,
‘Just wait and see I’ll make everybody proud’.

But in truth he still didn’t understand it,
Deep down he cursed others on every bit,
For he still failed to really versed it,
And looked like he will never ever get it.

Because he kept pointing up to the sky,
And he kept asking how and why,
While keeping still and stayed a child,
And refused to sweat and walk the miles.

I now know a man who tears blood,
When he cries, the world laugh aloud,
When he screams, the fire spread far and wide.