Working at GUP

Things are getting from bad to worse at GUP, where I work. From bad to worse?!! Hahaha! Even saying that makes me feel guilty. Things are more like getting from ‘worse x 1 million’ to ‘worse x 1 billion’! There, that is more accurate. I even think that statement is a little bit soft…..

I need to leave. Sigh, another understatement. I should have left months ago, or at least plan my leaving seriously. All I did was complain and whine to my friends and family about GUP. I have told them that I need to leave but I’m still here. It has been 13 months now. And the initial plan was to leave once I past my one-year. I haven’t even updated my resume yet. Shame on me!

Why is it so hard to leave? Well the biggest reason is I’m scared. Scared to even send in my resume. My Guardian Angel kept forwarding job ads to me in hope I will tell her, “Hey I have updated my resume & I’m going to apply for one of the jobs that u forwarded me. Can you please vet through it?” That’s all that she expects from me but no, nothing. I shamelessly ask her to keep sending me job ads and she is doing just that. She sent me lots of it. There was this one time when she said “I’m seriously going to hurt you if you don’t apply for this job.” But still nothing!

I was saying that I’m scared to leave. Why? Well I feel that right now I know nothing about my work. Everything that I learned from the Hell’s Hole (please refer to ‘My Guardian Angel’ entry, thank you) has somehow vaporised from my brain. I remember when I first joined GUP, we had an event immediately and we had to get the media and I was really up for it. “Well what are we waiting for, lets do it,” I said. Now however I’m not even sure how to start doing that. For the event that we were supposed to have this coming August (got postponed, what do you expect, it’s GUP), I looked for a way out of it. I insisted that we used a PR company so I don’t have to deal with the media. Can you see the difference?

Looking at the requirements in job ads is enough to scare me from applying. The most persuasive and welcoming of job ads will have only five lines of requirements, and most of the time I’m only confidence of doing one of them. So just forget the intimidating ones where the requirements are two pages long.

Another reason that I’m still at GUP is because I have become a lazy bum. I tried to deny it before, blaming my colleagues and my boss for not doing anything for GUP but now it’s just blatantly obvious. There are lots of pending work (I’m not going to list them here) and I just ignore them; and guess what, no one is asking about them. At work all I do is FB-ing and chatting. Sweet life isn’t it, getting paid to chat and sit on your butt all day. Not only that, I can come to work anytime I want and leave work at 5pm (office hours supposed to end at 630pm). Lunch is 4 hours for us, and I can wear whatever I want to the office.

To leave GUP is to leave all that. Am I willing to do it?

Well I have to. I pride myself for getting back on my feet after the pathetic 4 years. I pride myself of being good at what I do. I’m proud of the education I received from Hell’s Hole. The experience I had there though terrible, it was priceless. No other workplace that I know so far can even come close to that place. I cannot let GUP destroy all that. I have to leave…

Yes, leaving I am!

***Note – the writer’s thoughts and emotions as portrayed above were true at the time of publishing. Any change or inconsistency found afterwards should not be used against and/or to mock, tease or ridicule the writer. Please take note. Thank you ;-)