Random Thoughts 4

Above is the mental note I made to myself because although I know I’ve gained a lot of weight, I still look for my previous size when I’m trying out clothing. Stupidity to the max. Stupidity that leads to indescribable frustration when I’m in the dressing room. Stupidity that was born out of denial. So I hope after this when I’m choosing clothing off the rack, I’ll look straight for my new undesired size, because I’ve made that mental note for myself.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I’m thinking to get a new car in the near future. I’ve made a shortlist of the cars that I would like to have. Caldina, Hyundai i30, Peugeot 407 and Volkswagen Golf. Unfortunately I can’t afford any of those so I tossed the list away. Looks like it will be either Persona or Neo. I LOVE Neo when it first came out but I think I’m too old for it now (sigh). So Persona it is then. I’ve already browsed a few forums to see what people think of it and although complaints about stupid poor quality of Proton interior still dominated, surprisingly quite a few people claimed Persona drives better on highway than Honda City. Hmmm…..


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Do you know the saying ‘Love the one who loves you’ ? (Or something like that). I think it is an incredibly stupid saying. If everyone follows the saying, no one will be in love. Everyone will only wait for the others to fall in love first. So everyone will stay single. Do you see how stupid it is?

“Why aren’t you in love?”
“Because no one loves me. We can only love the one who love us, remember?”
“But they are also waiting for you to love them first!”
“Yup, that’s the problem.”

Incredibly stupid!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I wanna quit smoking but I honestly don’t know if I can do it. It’s getting worse for me, I’m now depending on it to make sure my day doesn’t suck. (Hmm, I have to rephrase that, I’m now depending on cigarettes to minimize the suckiness of my day). I read somewhere that one of the steps to quit smoking is that you need to gradually reduce the frequency of it, that every time you feel the urge to smoke, try to delay it for as long as you can. Well I’m trying that now, but my god, I got really grumpy when I delay it! I seriously cannot control how angry I get. I know that it is the urge that making me angry but still every little thing just make me feel like headbutting the wall! I’m worried about how I’m going to cope with it this coming puasa. It was bad for me last year and now that I’m getting worse, this year promises to be a torture. Wish me luck!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The show ‘Secrets of Magicians Revealed’ is a bit like a reflection of my life right now (dramatic I know). What I mean is, every time they play the teaser for that show I really can’t wait to watch it. How magicians make the girl floats and then cut her into 2, how magicians make an elephant disappear right in front of our eyes and how magicians do that ‘magic door’ trick where suddenly out of nowhere a whole group of people can come out from behind the door when just seconds before there was nothing behind it. So the teaser always make me wait for the show excitedly and when I finally get to watch it, when I finally understand how magicians do their tricks, I got bitterly disappointed. Suddenly those tricks seem too simple too stupid. The mystery is gone and I regret watching it. It’s the mystery that I want, figuring it out is what attracts me. Once the mystery is gone, once I figured it out, I lost interest, I got disappointed and I feel stupid. Once I have it it my hands it bores me to death.
I need to be carefull about this.