One Day / Satu Hari Nanti..

When I was a little boy, a sweet innocent optimist stupid little boy, I told everybody that one day I want to be an accountant. My Along was studying accountancy at that time so because I looked up to her, I wanted to follow her footsteps. At that time I remember thinking,

“Well why not, she is going to be one, and accountant sure sounds like fun. Counting money can’t be that hard. I mean how hard can it be, I can count to a million and more!”

Then of course I started learning the basics of accounting in Form 1 and got the shock of my life when I found out being an accountant was so much more than just counting money. I immediately fell out of love with it and almost flunked the paper in my SPM.

I also remember telling everyone, “One day I’m going to work in one of those high rise buildings, with big glass windows in my office so I have beautiful views and I can look out to the beautiful scenery whenever I feel the need to take a break.”
A bit of pointless wish and I think I managed that, but I stupidly let go of it.

When I was in ITM, still clueless about what I want to do (because I dumped the idea of being an accountant a few years before that), I jokingly told my friends, “Aku nak buat PR lah, and satu hari nanti aku nak buat PR untuk Siti Nurhaliza.”
Sigh, PR it is now, but not quite Siti Nurhaliza. Be careful what you wish for, eh?

I guess like every other person in this planet, I have said lots of ‘one day’ and ‘satu hari nanti’, especially as a little boy.

One day I will drive expensive fast car
One day I will own a nice cosy little house
One day I will travel all over the world
One day I will teach my kids to play tennis
One day people will name a street after me

Things looked so simple back then, so easy, so do-able. Well things don’t look so simple anymore. What was ‘one day’ back then, it’s ‘today’ or maybe even ‘yesterday’ right now. The ‘one days’ have passed. What I am now is what I will be in the future. No more potential, no more possibilities, no more growth.

Ok, I’m not dying from any disease (not that I know of anyway) and I’m not OLD old, so I admit maybe it’s premature to say all these things. But being realistic, I can’t see any of my boyhood’s ‘one days’ happening at all. At my stage of life right now, there should at the very least some signs that point out I’m heading in the right direction. Unfortunately I can’t see any signs at all. I don’t even have a proper job!

I’m not being negative, I’m not being pessimistic and I’m not being a drama queen. I’m just being honest and maybe a little bit blunt. Anyone who says ‘Don’t worry things will fall into places soon’ or anything like that, is either trying foolishly to be nice or just plain simple deluded. So for anyone who pins their hope to me for whatever reason, stop kidding yourself.

What you see is what you get. Maybe even less.

Scary thought.

Whatever!