A Sticky

I just want to disappear
Or reverse my existence
So I can end it all
Without pulling the trigger

Am I being weak
For not hanging on
To that tiniest of hope
Abandoning everything
Instead of manning up
And brace through it

I can’t get my head around
At how simple it is
For the precious to let go
Like it was never anything
Like it was never real

I can’t stand the worthlessness
By the hundred rhymes
By the thousand days
By the million tears
So I wish to fade away
Without a trace

The nightmare I built my own
No longer masks the blows
The barrier of four corners
Now closing in on me
I guess the never ending beating
Is here to stay forever