I love driving. Be it short or long distance, through the jam or through the highway, I would want to be the one who drives. This doesn’t mean I drive with a smile on my face all the time though. Like a normal person, I will still complaint about the jam, about other idiot drivers, about being tired, about being lazy to drive and also if my co-driver just sit on his or her ass doing nothing, not even helping to look for parking. Why do I like driving so much then? I think a big part of it is because driving puts me in control. In fact I think driving is the only time where I feel confident and in full control of myself and my life. Plus, there are very few people that I trust to drive me. What can I say, there are too many idiots in this life so you can never be too careful. I prefer to put my safety in my own hands.
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Siti Nurhaliza knows CPR! I’m quite impressed with that. She tried to help Yasmin Ahmad with CPR when she collapsed. Wow, I guess being the ambassador of Red Crescent really paid off… I don’t even know what CPR stands for. To think about it, it is important to learn CPR. You can never know when you will need it. I guess it is in our culture to ignore these kind of things. Hmm, maybe I will start learning it. Maybe Megan Fox can be my CPR dummy. Just as an added incentive..
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Have you heard about the dog, Chiko? Or maybe Kiko? Not really sure about the name but the dog was from Japan, famous for being very loyal. In fact, the dog’s loyalty is legendary. I first heard about the dog’s story in Mix.fm, in one of those advertisements/campaigns narrated by Jojo something (a VJ I think). And then I heard that the story of the dog will be made into a movie with Richard Gere in it. Wow, not bad for a dead Japanese dog. Apparently, a lot of people are touched by the story of this dog. The dog waited for his master/owner/whatever to return from work at a train station everyday, at a specific time without fail. One day the master died and obviously never come back ever again. But this dog kept on waiting as usual everyday at the same place until it died. And because of that the dog gained the status of legendary. Wow, loyalty huh? Will it be so twisted if I see it as stupid? Because I do see it as stupid. And I can’t believe anything would gain legendary status for their stupidity. Except for Forest Gump of course…
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Being mysterious is not the same as being cool. Having secrets is not the same as being cool. Some people think it is though. They want to be cool so they go as far as faking it. Can you imagine faking about having secret and being mysterious? It’s fine if you have secrets. Everybody has secrets. But the thing is, a secret is a secret. You don’t want other people to know about it, that is why it is called secret. Duh! But for the people who think it’s cool having secrets, they think it’s cool to make everyone else wonder about them having secrets. So they will be like “Ooh I have a secret, but I can’t tell you. I’m so cool because I have a secret that you don’t know”. If you have a secret and you don’t want anyone else to know about it, keep it to yourself. Why would you go around telling people that you have a secret? It’s stupid.
There, I’ve said it! Phew…
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I can’t wait for Mix.fm Dearly Deported to start. It’s the latest in the line of potentially cruel inhuman reality show to hit our country. The show offers you to be reunited with your love ones who you haven’t seen in at least 5 years, provided you managed to answer questions about that person correctly. While you answer these questions, you will get to see that person through a glass wall. But that’s all, you cannot go hug that person or say hi. You can only watch. After you’re done with the questions, depending on how you did, they will let you spend time with your love ones, with two weeks being the maximum. If you failed to answer any question, you won’t even get to say hi, they will send the person back to where ever he or she was from. Now you know what I mean by ‘potentially cruel inhuman’ show? But it is ok, we like to watch other people suffer and I’m sure Mix.fm will make a lot of money from this. That is why the show is ok, that is why the show is allowed.
One thing for sure, it will be fun!
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Something terrible happened to me last night. Until now I cannot believe that it actually happened. It was something that you read in the news, something that I always feel will only happen to somebody else. But it happened to me, and I cannot believe it. I’m actually lucky to be able to blog about this. That’s how unbelievable it was. But I can’t tell you, because it was just too amazingly unbelievable so I better keep it to myself as my deepest secret.
You see, now I’m cool, because you know I have a big secret but you can never know what it is. Boo hoo…
Jul 26, 2009
The Untold
It is a terrible feeling isn’t it, when you have to run away from happiness. You certainly don’t want to, but you have no choice, you just have to. A terrible, terrible feeling.
Imagine being happy in the moment with that warm tingling feeling, feeling appreciated, feeling that you belong. So you smile and laugh, your eyes bright and sparkle reflecting the warmth. Then you allow yourself to go deeper in the bliss without a care in the world. And you allow yourself to dream. You convince yourself that you can make it work and it is working, that you have a lot to give and can make it better, and that you are needed.
But somehow, in the middle of all that, when you are right at the peak of the happiness, when you are convince that this time it is for real, somehow, you manage to snap out of it. Sense comes rushing in. Logic and reality take their places. And you crash down so violently.
That’s when you feel it, the first of the terrible feeling. The pain, like a dagger through your heart. You feel it deep, the feeling of reality, and it just hurt so badly. You feel worthless and defeated.
Immediately you want to chuck away the feeling. You want it gone straight away. And because of that, you resort to anger. You cry foul. You choose to point finger. By any means, you want the feeling to go away.
And again reality takes place. The realisation of the truth hurts you more. The realisation that the finger should only point to you. It is unfair to be angry. So you keep on smiling. You try to maintain the bright sparkling eyes even though inside you are sinking.
You force a smile for the root of it all when it is right in front of you. You have no choice but to control the feelings you feel in the first place. You allow yourself to indulge in it for a little bit and at the same time you built up walls around you so you won’t get lost in the happiness. And it’s hard, so hard to pull yourself out every time you get too deep, but you just have to. Every time the happiness gets too overwhelming, you run away from it but only to be pull back in. And this keeps on happening, keeps on repeating. The longer it goes on, the more it keeps repeating, the harder it gets. And it is so hard.
The thought of saying goodbye for good cross your mind but you lack the strength to do it. You can’t muster enough courage and will power to say it out loud. Why? Because although you know it’s impossible, you can’t help but continue to hope that someday you won’t have to run anymore. Although it is ridiculous, your heart overrules your mind. You keep on hoping that one day you won't be allowed to run.
So you stay guarded within the walls you built to taste a bit of the happiness again, although you know well it is going nowhere. Even when you fully understand you will have to keep running, even when you know you have to keep disappointing your heart every time it gets too much.
And that's when the misery complete, that's when the terrible feeling complete. The terrible, terrible feeling.
All because the root of it all is so precious to you.
And it is so hard...
Imagine being happy in the moment with that warm tingling feeling, feeling appreciated, feeling that you belong. So you smile and laugh, your eyes bright and sparkle reflecting the warmth. Then you allow yourself to go deeper in the bliss without a care in the world. And you allow yourself to dream. You convince yourself that you can make it work and it is working, that you have a lot to give and can make it better, and that you are needed.
But somehow, in the middle of all that, when you are right at the peak of the happiness, when you are convince that this time it is for real, somehow, you manage to snap out of it. Sense comes rushing in. Logic and reality take their places. And you crash down so violently.
That’s when you feel it, the first of the terrible feeling. The pain, like a dagger through your heart. You feel it deep, the feeling of reality, and it just hurt so badly. You feel worthless and defeated.
Immediately you want to chuck away the feeling. You want it gone straight away. And because of that, you resort to anger. You cry foul. You choose to point finger. By any means, you want the feeling to go away.
And again reality takes place. The realisation of the truth hurts you more. The realisation that the finger should only point to you. It is unfair to be angry. So you keep on smiling. You try to maintain the bright sparkling eyes even though inside you are sinking.
You force a smile for the root of it all when it is right in front of you. You have no choice but to control the feelings you feel in the first place. You allow yourself to indulge in it for a little bit and at the same time you built up walls around you so you won’t get lost in the happiness. And it’s hard, so hard to pull yourself out every time you get too deep, but you just have to. Every time the happiness gets too overwhelming, you run away from it but only to be pull back in. And this keeps on happening, keeps on repeating. The longer it goes on, the more it keeps repeating, the harder it gets. And it is so hard.
The thought of saying goodbye for good cross your mind but you lack the strength to do it. You can’t muster enough courage and will power to say it out loud. Why? Because although you know it’s impossible, you can’t help but continue to hope that someday you won’t have to run anymore. Although it is ridiculous, your heart overrules your mind. You keep on hoping that one day you won't be allowed to run.
So you stay guarded within the walls you built to taste a bit of the happiness again, although you know well it is going nowhere. Even when you fully understand you will have to keep running, even when you know you have to keep disappointing your heart every time it gets too much.
And that's when the misery complete, that's when the terrible feeling complete. The terrible, terrible feeling.
All because the root of it all is so precious to you.
And it is so hard...
Jul 19, 2009
Awakening
I met an old friend this afternoon. I knew him from my school days, during this one tennis tournament. He beat me in a close match and we got along well after that. We stayed in touch and became quite close, until we lost contact a few years back. Never thought I would ever saw him ever again but it is a small world after all.
He didn’t change much. I recognised him instantly when I saw him. He was with this very pretty girl which I thought was his girlfriend. She was carrying a few plastic bags so I guess they were in the middle of their shopping.
Seeing me, he sent his girl away, telling her he wanted to do some catching up with me. She didn’t look please at first but after a few firm words from him, she obeyed.
We ended up having a drink, laughing at old stories and telling new ones to each other. One conversation led to another until he told me he has never been happier than he is now. The reason, he said confidently, “I made the best decision I have ever made. After I broke up with my long time girlfriend, I decided to stay single. And I've been single ever since.”
I asked him about the pretty girl and he told me, “No, she’s not my girlfriend. She is just one of the girls I’m having fun with right now.”
“Er, does she know that? She seems madly in love with you,” I asked him.
“That’s not my problem,” he said without any hesitation. “She’s a great girl and all, but I’m just looking for some fun. She makes me happy in more ways than one, if you know what I mean, but in the end she is just a girl.”
He then continued telling me, “You must be wondering what the hell happened that made me this way right? Actually nothing happened. I just woke up one morning feeling girls should be enjoyed and nothing else. So enjoying them I am!”
“And this really is making you happy?” I asked.
“Yes, happier than I have ever been,” he answered firmly.
“Are you going to call me a big bastard now?” He asked looking straight at me.
I looked straight back at him, paused a few seconds. Then I smiled and said, “Well, yes, you big bastard......well done...”
He smiled back, “I knew you would understand.”
We continued our conversation until the pretty girl came back, excitedly telling him, “Sayang, look what I got you. I bet you will look great in it!”
And we kept on smiling...
He didn’t change much. I recognised him instantly when I saw him. He was with this very pretty girl which I thought was his girlfriend. She was carrying a few plastic bags so I guess they were in the middle of their shopping.
Seeing me, he sent his girl away, telling her he wanted to do some catching up with me. She didn’t look please at first but after a few firm words from him, she obeyed.
We ended up having a drink, laughing at old stories and telling new ones to each other. One conversation led to another until he told me he has never been happier than he is now. The reason, he said confidently, “I made the best decision I have ever made. After I broke up with my long time girlfriend, I decided to stay single. And I've been single ever since.”
I asked him about the pretty girl and he told me, “No, she’s not my girlfriend. She is just one of the girls I’m having fun with right now.”
“Er, does she know that? She seems madly in love with you,” I asked him.
“That’s not my problem,” he said without any hesitation. “She’s a great girl and all, but I’m just looking for some fun. She makes me happy in more ways than one, if you know what I mean, but in the end she is just a girl.”
He then continued telling me, “You must be wondering what the hell happened that made me this way right? Actually nothing happened. I just woke up one morning feeling girls should be enjoyed and nothing else. So enjoying them I am!”
“And this really is making you happy?” I asked.
“Yes, happier than I have ever been,” he answered firmly.
“Are you going to call me a big bastard now?” He asked looking straight at me.
I looked straight back at him, paused a few seconds. Then I smiled and said, “Well, yes, you big bastard......well done...”
He smiled back, “I knew you would understand.”
We continued our conversation until the pretty girl came back, excitedly telling him, “Sayang, look what I got you. I bet you will look great in it!”
And we kept on smiling...
Jul 17, 2009
White Flag
Volatile heart is mine,
And true enough only volatile hearts linked to mine.
A curse or simply order of the world,
In the end we all get what we deserve.
My downfall is I remember too well,
The colours and the scent, all too well
All planted deep in my memory, unforgivingly,
Anchored by my hatred and wrapped in self pity.
I don’t mean to hang on to it too much,
But they keep on playing in my mind like a chant.
And no longer I know the right from the wrong,
Addled by bitterness my judgement is gone.
Oh how I long for the lost times,
When the heart was still smiling and calm,
How I’m tired of the lonely rainy days,
When even the mind has nothing to say.
I’m giving up, because I can’t see the point anymore.
And true enough only volatile hearts linked to mine.
A curse or simply order of the world,
In the end we all get what we deserve.
My downfall is I remember too well,
The colours and the scent, all too well
All planted deep in my memory, unforgivingly,
Anchored by my hatred and wrapped in self pity.
I don’t mean to hang on to it too much,
But they keep on playing in my mind like a chant.
And no longer I know the right from the wrong,
Addled by bitterness my judgement is gone.
Oh how I long for the lost times,
When the heart was still smiling and calm,
How I’m tired of the lonely rainy days,
When even the mind has nothing to say.
I’m giving up, because I can’t see the point anymore.
Jul 12, 2009
Random Thoughts 2
I love Evanescence. I really like Amy Lee’s vocal, I like their lyrics and I like their style of music. I used to listen to them all the time. Not anymore though. I haven’t listened to them in quite a while, until last night when I couldn’t sleep and was bored to the bones. And last night, as soon as I heard the first note of one of their songs, I remembered why I’ve stopped listening to them. They remind me too much of the ‘happenings’. The pain, the fear, the loneliness….the craziness. Such a pity. Well I hope they will come out with a new album soon so I can link new memories to their songs.
But, do they even exist anymore?
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Puasa is coming soon and then raya. A bit of a cliché but I really feel it was only yesterday I grumpily woke up for sahur and then contemplating whether to go to terawikh or not. Like it was only yesterday I went to buy baju melayu at Semua House, where the salesgirl laughed at me because I can fit the baju well, but not the pants. Stupid girl. It will be interesting this coming puasa to see if I dare to come out with any resolutions like I did last year. Yup last year, when I spectacularly failed all my resolutions.
I think I’m going to spend a bit for this year’s raya. Not too much though, I have to save some money for Bruce, another major service is coming up. The last time I sent Bruce for a major service, I ended up paying over 1k!!
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My family always takes time out for a holiday at least once a year. We used to go more often than recent times, understandably as now everyone got busy with their own lives, so it’s really difficult to gather everyone at the same time. I’m hoping to get my way if we were going for another holiday. I want to go to Tasik Kenyir! I’ve been there once, when I was 7 I think. And until now I can remember how I was in a real awe with Kenyir. What made me so in awe was that I can’t believe how they had almost everything in the lake. At that time they had jungle tracking, waterfalls, and big islands. They had all kind of animals and I remember when during the jungle tracking we found an ‘elephant alley’. The guide told me elephant only uses their alleys to move around, they won’t just wonder and roam randomly. And the guide told me that’s why we can’t stay at an elephant alley for too long because of course, being in the way of rampaging wild elephants is never a good idea. But then again, the guy might have been bullshitting me, seeing how I was so eagerly interested and gullible.
Anyway, ever since then I’ve been dreaming to go back to Tasik Kenyir and hopefully I can go there soon. I heard that place is now ‘developed’ with resorts and more activities. I just hope they haven’t ruined it yet.
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Pre-season football is starting soon. Really, really can’t wait. I haven’t watched TV in a long time because there is no football (no Liverpool anyway). And when there is no football to watch, TV is just not worth it anymore… I hope Rafa will get it right this season. The way we played towards the end of last season was unbelievable. I will be very disappointed if he changed back to his defensive play. And I’m still hoping for David Silva. Slim chance I know, but he is what we need. Just get him in and we will be in for a shout again. The new season can’t come too soon for me!
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I cannot understand why ‘The Shield’ is not getting the recognition it deserves. For me, it is the best TV series ever, bar none. The script, the plot, the acting are all superb. It got a lot of hype and awards during its first and second season but then what happened? Don’t tell me they are just like the other series where the stories and plots got really messy. The Shield stayed consistent right till the end. I’ve finished watching the final season (season 7) and the ending was amazing. Looking back on it now, it’s incredible to see how they managed to control the story to still be realistic and not be over the top with the plot. And the acting in it is by far the best I’ve ever seen in a TV series. Nothing will ever come close to it, mark my word.
But, do they even exist anymore?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Puasa is coming soon and then raya. A bit of a cliché but I really feel it was only yesterday I grumpily woke up for sahur and then contemplating whether to go to terawikh or not. Like it was only yesterday I went to buy baju melayu at Semua House, where the salesgirl laughed at me because I can fit the baju well, but not the pants. Stupid girl. It will be interesting this coming puasa to see if I dare to come out with any resolutions like I did last year. Yup last year, when I spectacularly failed all my resolutions.
I think I’m going to spend a bit for this year’s raya. Not too much though, I have to save some money for Bruce, another major service is coming up. The last time I sent Bruce for a major service, I ended up paying over 1k!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My family always takes time out for a holiday at least once a year. We used to go more often than recent times, understandably as now everyone got busy with their own lives, so it’s really difficult to gather everyone at the same time. I’m hoping to get my way if we were going for another holiday. I want to go to Tasik Kenyir! I’ve been there once, when I was 7 I think. And until now I can remember how I was in a real awe with Kenyir. What made me so in awe was that I can’t believe how they had almost everything in the lake. At that time they had jungle tracking, waterfalls, and big islands. They had all kind of animals and I remember when during the jungle tracking we found an ‘elephant alley’. The guide told me elephant only uses their alleys to move around, they won’t just wonder and roam randomly. And the guide told me that’s why we can’t stay at an elephant alley for too long because of course, being in the way of rampaging wild elephants is never a good idea. But then again, the guy might have been bullshitting me, seeing how I was so eagerly interested and gullible.
Anyway, ever since then I’ve been dreaming to go back to Tasik Kenyir and hopefully I can go there soon. I heard that place is now ‘developed’ with resorts and more activities. I just hope they haven’t ruined it yet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pre-season football is starting soon. Really, really can’t wait. I haven’t watched TV in a long time because there is no football (no Liverpool anyway). And when there is no football to watch, TV is just not worth it anymore… I hope Rafa will get it right this season. The way we played towards the end of last season was unbelievable. I will be very disappointed if he changed back to his defensive play. And I’m still hoping for David Silva. Slim chance I know, but he is what we need. Just get him in and we will be in for a shout again. The new season can’t come too soon for me!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I cannot understand why ‘The Shield’ is not getting the recognition it deserves. For me, it is the best TV series ever, bar none. The script, the plot, the acting are all superb. It got a lot of hype and awards during its first and second season but then what happened? Don’t tell me they are just like the other series where the stories and plots got really messy. The Shield stayed consistent right till the end. I’ve finished watching the final season (season 7) and the ending was amazing. Looking back on it now, it’s incredible to see how they managed to control the story to still be realistic and not be over the top with the plot. And the acting in it is by far the best I’ve ever seen in a TV series. Nothing will ever come close to it, mark my word.
Jul 11, 2009
Random Thoughts
Do you know the saying ‘doing things religiously’, as in ‘he goes jogging religiously’? It means doing it very frequently. Well I think the phrase now has the opposite meaning. People all over the world have increasingly put religion in the back seat, with money in the front seat. Doesn’t matter who you pray to, or claim to pray to, religion no longer tops the priority list for many people. So really, I feel the original meaning of the saying doesn’t apply anymore. Maybe we should change it to ‘he goes jogging businessly’. Businesssically? Businesially?
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I have always wondered why a fly cannot, or does not, fly at night. In fact, they turn sluggish and stupid. If you want to kill a fly during the day you will really need to put your efforts in. At night however, you can even catch a fly alive, and that with your eyes closed. It won’t fly away, instead it will just try to crawl away pathetically. I just don’t get it.
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My boss went to a function the other night that had all the top dogs from both political and corporate world. Our chairman, chairman of GUP, was the host apparently. And my boss told me that our chairman in his speech didn’t mention our name even once! I feel that was astonishing especially after he told us that he and the rest of the board of trustees are working hard for the survival of GUP. The function was a great opportunity for him as the chairman of GUP to let all those VIPs know about GUP and he didn’t. Why? To make it more unbelievable, he mentioned a project we are involved it, one of our most successful project I have to add, and he didn’t mention our name. He mentioned our partner’s name, the partner WE FUNDED for the project, and he didn’t mention our name! I can only come to one conclusion, he is embarrassed with GUP.
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I like P Ramlee, not as much as a lot of other people seem to be, but I do like him. I don’t know the lines from his movies like I know the back of my hands and I don’t think I will laugh that much anymore watching his comedy, but I do appreciate him and I agree that he was a true genius. However, I just don’t get it when our comedians today try to copy his style and use it in their performances. They look so stupid doing it. His style was the best during his time and his time only. If you want to keep his work and style alive as a tribute to his greatness, of course you can but change it to suit it to today. Keep it fresh. Don’t be lazy and unimaginative idiots by doing it exactly like he did because like I said you will look stupid and classless. And worst of all, you will tarnish all of P Ramlee’s brilliant work. So if you can't do much better than you are doing right now, please stop doing it. It's better to start creating your own style and be original. Leave P Ramlee alone.
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English this, English that. We need to allocate more time for English in school. Let’s teach math and science in English, hell let’s teach Bahasa in English. In the mean time, just let Bahasa rot to die. It doesn’t matter that no one can speak proper Bahasa anymore, doesn’t matter that the written version is completely different from the spoken version. Let’s leave it that way because Bahasa is not relevant anymore. Right now I’m just waiting for an ‘expert’ to suggest we should change our official language to English, much easier that way.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have a deep ‘disliking’ towards Sharifah Aini. Yup, The Sharifah Aini, the one who her adoring fans call Biduanita Negara. I can’t quite put my fingers to why I dislike her. I’m sure she is a nice person and all but still I just don’t like her. It was not that incident where she claimed she was ‘abducted’ and injected with a virus or a poison or something, I’ve started to dislike her way before that. Maybe it’s her big hair. I have always hated big hair. Maybe it was the constant talk about her moles, how many she has, how many of them are new. That just annoy me to the limit. Or maybe, I just hate the way she talks. Do you notice how she talks? It’s like she is the most important person in the world. And I hate her big laugh as well. “Hahaha me Sharifah me biduanita me important!”
Sigh….
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have always wondered why a fly cannot, or does not, fly at night. In fact, they turn sluggish and stupid. If you want to kill a fly during the day you will really need to put your efforts in. At night however, you can even catch a fly alive, and that with your eyes closed. It won’t fly away, instead it will just try to crawl away pathetically. I just don’t get it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My boss went to a function the other night that had all the top dogs from both political and corporate world. Our chairman, chairman of GUP, was the host apparently. And my boss told me that our chairman in his speech didn’t mention our name even once! I feel that was astonishing especially after he told us that he and the rest of the board of trustees are working hard for the survival of GUP. The function was a great opportunity for him as the chairman of GUP to let all those VIPs know about GUP and he didn’t. Why? To make it more unbelievable, he mentioned a project we are involved it, one of our most successful project I have to add, and he didn’t mention our name. He mentioned our partner’s name, the partner WE FUNDED for the project, and he didn’t mention our name! I can only come to one conclusion, he is embarrassed with GUP.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I like P Ramlee, not as much as a lot of other people seem to be, but I do like him. I don’t know the lines from his movies like I know the back of my hands and I don’t think I will laugh that much anymore watching his comedy, but I do appreciate him and I agree that he was a true genius. However, I just don’t get it when our comedians today try to copy his style and use it in their performances. They look so stupid doing it. His style was the best during his time and his time only. If you want to keep his work and style alive as a tribute to his greatness, of course you can but change it to suit it to today. Keep it fresh. Don’t be lazy and unimaginative idiots by doing it exactly like he did because like I said you will look stupid and classless. And worst of all, you will tarnish all of P Ramlee’s brilliant work. So if you can't do much better than you are doing right now, please stop doing it. It's better to start creating your own style and be original. Leave P Ramlee alone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
English this, English that. We need to allocate more time for English in school. Let’s teach math and science in English, hell let’s teach Bahasa in English. In the mean time, just let Bahasa rot to die. It doesn’t matter that no one can speak proper Bahasa anymore, doesn’t matter that the written version is completely different from the spoken version. Let’s leave it that way because Bahasa is not relevant anymore. Right now I’m just waiting for an ‘expert’ to suggest we should change our official language to English, much easier that way.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have a deep ‘disliking’ towards Sharifah Aini. Yup, The Sharifah Aini, the one who her adoring fans call Biduanita Negara. I can’t quite put my fingers to why I dislike her. I’m sure she is a nice person and all but still I just don’t like her. It was not that incident where she claimed she was ‘abducted’ and injected with a virus or a poison or something, I’ve started to dislike her way before that. Maybe it’s her big hair. I have always hated big hair. Maybe it was the constant talk about her moles, how many she has, how many of them are new. That just annoy me to the limit. Or maybe, I just hate the way she talks. Do you notice how she talks? It’s like she is the most important person in the world. And I hate her big laugh as well. “Hahaha me Sharifah me biduanita me important!”
Sigh….
Jul 10, 2009
My First Crush
I still remember this girl I met when I was about 10 I think, not really sure. (Actually ‘saw’, not ‘met’, and from far!). I was at a hospital then somewhere in Terengganu, visiting my grandma. The girl was at the hospital for a woman who looked to be her mum. She was probably my age or maybe even younger. The first time I saw her, she was in her cute blue baju kurung.
I don’t know what it was, but I just can’t take my eyes off her. She was cute for sure, but I don’t think that was the reason I can’t stop staring at her. Maybe it was because she impressed me. While I, as a brat, shadowed my mum all the time, she was doing stuff for her sick mum. She basically took care of her mum and she did it without looking awkward at all. And I could’ve sworn she did it alone because I cannot remember seeing anyone else with her at any point of time. (Admittedly, I didn’t remember anyone else probably because I just focused on her and ignored everyone else).
Anyway, we visited my grandma everyday for a week and although I felt hospitals were creepy at that time, I just cannot wait to go there because of the girl. I just wanted to meet (I mean see) the girl again. So the whole time I was at the hospital, I stared at her. Watching her getting water for her mum, watching her towelling her mum, watching her helping her mum to eat, watching her…
And she noticed me watching her. Of course she did. A few times she looked back at me, and one time she even gave me a smile. And I was in love…
I wish I could say here that I managed to gather enough courage to finally go talk to her. That we became friends. That we stayed in touch till today…
I didn’t do anything. Every time she looked back at me I looked away, pretending I didn’t even notice her. Guess what I did when she smiled at me that one time? I frowned.
Well I was 10. You can’t expect a 10 year old to pick up a girl at a hospital (who was taking care of her sick mum by the way), can you? I don’t even know how to pick up a girl right now and I’m already 30! So I guess it was understandable that I didn’t do anything about that girl.
But I managed to do one thing though, I know her name. It was Ana. Or Ena. Or maybe Nana. I heard her mum called out her name and it had something with ‘Na’ in it, so I think most probably her name was Ana. What a beautiful name!
I saw her every single day for that week, didn’t do anything about it and I never saw her again after that.
Thinking about it now, I’m convinced she is my soulmate. We are meant to be with each other. That’s why I’m single right now, to wait for her to come back to me, to wait for the moment for us to be re-united (although we never were in any sort of forms being united).
So Ana (or Ena/Nana), if you are reading this, you know what to do.
I don’t know what it was, but I just can’t take my eyes off her. She was cute for sure, but I don’t think that was the reason I can’t stop staring at her. Maybe it was because she impressed me. While I, as a brat, shadowed my mum all the time, she was doing stuff for her sick mum. She basically took care of her mum and she did it without looking awkward at all. And I could’ve sworn she did it alone because I cannot remember seeing anyone else with her at any point of time. (Admittedly, I didn’t remember anyone else probably because I just focused on her and ignored everyone else).
Anyway, we visited my grandma everyday for a week and although I felt hospitals were creepy at that time, I just cannot wait to go there because of the girl. I just wanted to meet (I mean see) the girl again. So the whole time I was at the hospital, I stared at her. Watching her getting water for her mum, watching her towelling her mum, watching her helping her mum to eat, watching her…
And she noticed me watching her. Of course she did. A few times she looked back at me, and one time she even gave me a smile. And I was in love…
I wish I could say here that I managed to gather enough courage to finally go talk to her. That we became friends. That we stayed in touch till today…
I didn’t do anything. Every time she looked back at me I looked away, pretending I didn’t even notice her. Guess what I did when she smiled at me that one time? I frowned.
Well I was 10. You can’t expect a 10 year old to pick up a girl at a hospital (who was taking care of her sick mum by the way), can you? I don’t even know how to pick up a girl right now and I’m already 30! So I guess it was understandable that I didn’t do anything about that girl.
But I managed to do one thing though, I know her name. It was Ana. Or Ena. Or maybe Nana. I heard her mum called out her name and it had something with ‘Na’ in it, so I think most probably her name was Ana. What a beautiful name!
I saw her every single day for that week, didn’t do anything about it and I never saw her again after that.
Thinking about it now, I’m convinced she is my soulmate. We are meant to be with each other. That’s why I’m single right now, to wait for her to come back to me, to wait for the moment for us to be re-united (although we never were in any sort of forms being united).
So Ana (or Ena/Nana), if you are reading this, you know what to do.
Jul 6, 2009
Loser's Log
I went out on a date last Friday night,
With this girl so hot my jeans got tight,
I tried to kiss her under the moonlight,
Got kicked in the nuts but don’t worry I was alright.
I wanted to call you right after she left,
Wanted to tell you ‘bout the beating I just had,
But I went against it because I was scared,
What would you think of me and colour me bad.
I planned to go jogging Saturday morning,
Well I had to really, my tummy is ballooning,
Wearing my all new gears I started stretching,
One simple move later I heard sound of bones breaking.
So I spent the rest of the day nursing the pain,
Thought of calling you to whine and complaint,
Didn’t do it though for a reason I won’t explain,
I felt my whining isn't something you would entertain.
Stayed at home the whole of last Sunday,
Read a book about this guy who turned gay,
And secretly in my heart I hoped and prayed,
One day you will love me and stop me going that way.
Later that night I dialed your number,
Wanted to ask you to go out for supper,
But you were probably out with your friends so super,
You won’t even remember my name, so I thought why bother.
You see,
I want to share so many things with you,
Call you all the time, talk about what’s new,
In everything I do, I think of you,
No exaggeration there, believe me it’s true.
Maybe one day I will let you know,
Maybe someday I will try again,
Until then I guess you can pretend you don’t know,
And save me the embarrassment from the rejection again.
** Inspired by Blink 182, the funniest band ever! **
With this girl so hot my jeans got tight,
I tried to kiss her under the moonlight,
Got kicked in the nuts but don’t worry I was alright.
I wanted to call you right after she left,
Wanted to tell you ‘bout the beating I just had,
But I went against it because I was scared,
What would you think of me and colour me bad.
I planned to go jogging Saturday morning,
Well I had to really, my tummy is ballooning,
Wearing my all new gears I started stretching,
One simple move later I heard sound of bones breaking.
So I spent the rest of the day nursing the pain,
Thought of calling you to whine and complaint,
Didn’t do it though for a reason I won’t explain,
I felt my whining isn't something you would entertain.
Stayed at home the whole of last Sunday,
Read a book about this guy who turned gay,
And secretly in my heart I hoped and prayed,
One day you will love me and stop me going that way.
Later that night I dialed your number,
Wanted to ask you to go out for supper,
But you were probably out with your friends so super,
You won’t even remember my name, so I thought why bother.
You see,
I want to share so many things with you,
Call you all the time, talk about what’s new,
In everything I do, I think of you,
No exaggeration there, believe me it’s true.
Maybe one day I will let you know,
Maybe someday I will try again,
Until then I guess you can pretend you don’t know,
And save me the embarrassment from the rejection again.
** Inspired by Blink 182, the funniest band ever! **
Jul 3, 2009
Open Letter to Mr Owen
Hi there Mr Owen,
How are you? How did you enjoy your summer holiday? Holiday is over right? I mean, pre-season is starting soon and most players are already backed with their team doing their fitness right now.
I wonder where did you go for your holiday this summer. Some exotic island maybe? Or probably you went to one of those fitness farms as you were just recovering from your injury? I’m probably far off here. Maybe you didn’t travel anywhere at all. Maybe you just spent time at home with your gorgeous wife and your beautiful kid instead. And golfing. Or maybe, yeah I think this was it, you ‘spent’ time with your race horses, one of your biggest passions, right?
I’m just playing the guessing game here. There are 1001 things you could have done and 1001 places you could have gone to during your holiday. Anything is possible, because you are Michael Owen. You have the name and you certainly have the money. You could even go to space I think, had you really wanted to.
For me, life is as usual. Actually right now it’s a bit boring to be honest because, yeah you’ve guessed it, it is the off season. No football, nothing really to look forward to. The closest I can get to football is by reading all the transfer gossips. Also I keep looking out for your news, keeping an eye on your next step and secretly hoping you would come back to Liverpool. Yes, Liverpool. I’m a big fan of Liverpool Football Club, Mr Owen. I’m obsessed about the club.
Do you know how I started supporting Liverpool? Well I have always told people I’m a fan of Liverpool since as far as I can remember. But I was one of those glory hunters then. I don’t know much about the team at all, but I wanted to be associated with them because at that time they were very successful. And I mean VERY SUCCESSFUL. (Of course you know all about it). But you know what made me a real fan? It was the 1996 FA Cup final, Liverpool vs Man Utd. We lost 0-1 in that game. I’m not going to go into the details, but the unfortunate way Liverpool lost that game made me a real fan.
But still after that game, I was nowhere near as big of a fan as I am now. It took another factor that elevated my interest to Liverpool Football Club to a near obsession. Took me another factor that made me learned everything there is to learn about the club. The tradition, the history, the success, the failure. I read up and learned all that. And that factor was you, Mr Owen. You made me the fan that I am today. My obsession with Liverpool Football Club started with you.
Like I said, after that game I started to learn more about the club. I took more interest, and that was when I learned about you. A young player making waves in the reserve team. Everyone spoke highly of you. At that time all the experts said you were the next big thing. At that time you broke every scoring record there were to break on the reserve level. Naturally I got very excited. A young player from Liverpool’s own academy on the verge of breaking through, to continue the tradition of the club in having great players playing for the team. People were dead certain you were going to take the world by storm.
And you proved them right. You took the world by storm. Just minutes into your debut you scored what would be your trademark goal - playing off defenders’ shoulder and using your perfect timing, anticipation and pace to break free from your marker and calmly slot the ball home. You announced your arrival perfectly to the world in that debut game against Wimbledon. 1997, the year a young 17 year old Michael Owen made his debut for Liverpool.
From then on you never looked back. After an excellent first full season with Liverpool, you went to the world cup and scored THAT goal. THAT goal everybody still talks about till this day. You became the most feared striker in the world. And I was really proud of you, a product of Liverpool Youth Academy. I was really, really honoured to be supporting you, to cheer for every goal you scored. At that time I was convinced you were going to play for Liverpool until you retire. At that time I cannot imagine Liverpool without you. To me, you were almost as big as the team itself.
And your personality, you were the perfect model pro. You conducted yourself perfectly on and off the pitch. People called you Mr Clean, to reflect your professionalism. In short, you were almost ‘unreal’. One of the best football players in the world with the best attitude; humble and down to earth. Like I said, you were almost unreal.
That doesn’t mean you didn’t face any problems though. Like any other mortals, you too had to face your fair share of crisis and controversies. Human nature right, we like to create heroes and then destroy them. Your style of play and your injury problems became the focus of the world. Critics said time and again you were too one dimensional. Every mistake you made on the pitch got pounced on. And I defended you time and again.
When you won the prestigious Ballon d’Or in 2001, I was so happy for you. You were officially the best player in Europe that year. How cool was that? That shut up a lot of critics didn’t it? And every time you got your injury, especially when it was your hamstring, they say you were finish. And again I defended you every time, and of course you came back with style after each injury. Way to show it to them, Mr Owen!
You gave me so many great memories, so, so many. The FA Cup final against Arsenal for instance, when you scored both goals to win the cup. I will never ever forget that. There are many more great memories from you, Mr Owen, too many to list them all here. From the bottom of my heart, thank you Mr Owen. You were my hero.
And because you were the hero I used to look up to, today is so hard for me. Because you were my hero, I’m feeling deeply betrayed by the news I heard today. How could you?
I think every Liverpool fan thought you were going to stay with Liverpool forever. When you ditched Liverpool to sign for Real Madrid, there was this unbelievable outrage against you. They called you a traitor. They called you Judas. But not me Mr Owen. I was on your side. I defended you. Make no mistake, you leaving Liverpool devastated me. But still I defended you. I told everyone you were entitled to look after yourself, that you were entitled to go pursue your ambition because Liverpool quite frankly couldn’t fulfill the ambition that you had. I said you didn’t owe the club anything because you have given so much. In fact I felt you have given the club and the fans more than they deserved, so no one can question your decision to leave Liverpool.
Even with the way you left Liverpool, the coldness in the way you make the move to Real Madrid, still I defended you.
When things didn’t go to plan for you at Madrid, the fans that you left ridiculed you. They said that’s what you get for leaving Liverpool. “Suits him right, the Judas!” Still, I defended you.
When Liverpool won the Champions League on that glorious night in Istanbul, the fans mocked you by chanting “Michael where were you in Istanbul?”. Every time I heard that I always snap back “Get off his back, I have no doubt he was cheering for us because he is one of us.” I defended you.
When you chose freaking Newcastle over us they all say you were a money grabbing bastard, that you never cared about Liverpool. You only cared about yourself. “See, didn’t I tell you, he is nothing but a selfish bastard who only cares about money.” You practically spat on our faces, Mr Owen, when you chose Newcastle instead of coming back to us. But still, I defended you.
When Newcastle got relegated, again the insults they directed towards you were thick and fast. They laughed at you, Mr Owen, and still I defended you! After all that you’ve done, I still defended you.
From the height of that treble season you had with us, winning Ballon d’Or, you are now a has been out of contract who got relegated, who is the butt of jokes, who lost all the ability that once made you the most feared striker in the world. Who lost all the respects that you had. AND STILL I DEFENDED YOU!
But no more Mr Owen. Enough is enough. Your latest betrayal is too much for me to take. How could you?! Man Utd? How could you even consider this? Doesn’t Liverpool mean anything to you? You use to wear Liverpool’s jersey and kissed the club crest proudly; didn’t that mean anything to you? You really are the money grabbing cold bastard people were talking about. And to think that I’ve defended you all the time before this. You make me sick, Mr Owen! From now on I couldn’t care less about you. From now on I will never wish you well anymore.
At the time I’m writing this, your move to Man Utd is still pending the medical. But whatever happens in the next few hours, either you pass or fail the medical, either you officially become a Man Utd player or not, you are already tainted.
The bridge is burned, Mr Owen.
How are you? How did you enjoy your summer holiday? Holiday is over right? I mean, pre-season is starting soon and most players are already backed with their team doing their fitness right now.
I wonder where did you go for your holiday this summer. Some exotic island maybe? Or probably you went to one of those fitness farms as you were just recovering from your injury? I’m probably far off here. Maybe you didn’t travel anywhere at all. Maybe you just spent time at home with your gorgeous wife and your beautiful kid instead. And golfing. Or maybe, yeah I think this was it, you ‘spent’ time with your race horses, one of your biggest passions, right?
I’m just playing the guessing game here. There are 1001 things you could have done and 1001 places you could have gone to during your holiday. Anything is possible, because you are Michael Owen. You have the name and you certainly have the money. You could even go to space I think, had you really wanted to.
For me, life is as usual. Actually right now it’s a bit boring to be honest because, yeah you’ve guessed it, it is the off season. No football, nothing really to look forward to. The closest I can get to football is by reading all the transfer gossips. Also I keep looking out for your news, keeping an eye on your next step and secretly hoping you would come back to Liverpool. Yes, Liverpool. I’m a big fan of Liverpool Football Club, Mr Owen. I’m obsessed about the club.
Do you know how I started supporting Liverpool? Well I have always told people I’m a fan of Liverpool since as far as I can remember. But I was one of those glory hunters then. I don’t know much about the team at all, but I wanted to be associated with them because at that time they were very successful. And I mean VERY SUCCESSFUL. (Of course you know all about it). But you know what made me a real fan? It was the 1996 FA Cup final, Liverpool vs Man Utd. We lost 0-1 in that game. I’m not going to go into the details, but the unfortunate way Liverpool lost that game made me a real fan.
But still after that game, I was nowhere near as big of a fan as I am now. It took another factor that elevated my interest to Liverpool Football Club to a near obsession. Took me another factor that made me learned everything there is to learn about the club. The tradition, the history, the success, the failure. I read up and learned all that. And that factor was you, Mr Owen. You made me the fan that I am today. My obsession with Liverpool Football Club started with you.
Like I said, after that game I started to learn more about the club. I took more interest, and that was when I learned about you. A young player making waves in the reserve team. Everyone spoke highly of you. At that time all the experts said you were the next big thing. At that time you broke every scoring record there were to break on the reserve level. Naturally I got very excited. A young player from Liverpool’s own academy on the verge of breaking through, to continue the tradition of the club in having great players playing for the team. People were dead certain you were going to take the world by storm.
And you proved them right. You took the world by storm. Just minutes into your debut you scored what would be your trademark goal - playing off defenders’ shoulder and using your perfect timing, anticipation and pace to break free from your marker and calmly slot the ball home. You announced your arrival perfectly to the world in that debut game against Wimbledon. 1997, the year a young 17 year old Michael Owen made his debut for Liverpool.
From then on you never looked back. After an excellent first full season with Liverpool, you went to the world cup and scored THAT goal. THAT goal everybody still talks about till this day. You became the most feared striker in the world. And I was really proud of you, a product of Liverpool Youth Academy. I was really, really honoured to be supporting you, to cheer for every goal you scored. At that time I was convinced you were going to play for Liverpool until you retire. At that time I cannot imagine Liverpool without you. To me, you were almost as big as the team itself.
And your personality, you were the perfect model pro. You conducted yourself perfectly on and off the pitch. People called you Mr Clean, to reflect your professionalism. In short, you were almost ‘unreal’. One of the best football players in the world with the best attitude; humble and down to earth. Like I said, you were almost unreal.
That doesn’t mean you didn’t face any problems though. Like any other mortals, you too had to face your fair share of crisis and controversies. Human nature right, we like to create heroes and then destroy them. Your style of play and your injury problems became the focus of the world. Critics said time and again you were too one dimensional. Every mistake you made on the pitch got pounced on. And I defended you time and again.
When you won the prestigious Ballon d’Or in 2001, I was so happy for you. You were officially the best player in Europe that year. How cool was that? That shut up a lot of critics didn’t it? And every time you got your injury, especially when it was your hamstring, they say you were finish. And again I defended you every time, and of course you came back with style after each injury. Way to show it to them, Mr Owen!
You gave me so many great memories, so, so many. The FA Cup final against Arsenal for instance, when you scored both goals to win the cup. I will never ever forget that. There are many more great memories from you, Mr Owen, too many to list them all here. From the bottom of my heart, thank you Mr Owen. You were my hero.
And because you were the hero I used to look up to, today is so hard for me. Because you were my hero, I’m feeling deeply betrayed by the news I heard today. How could you?
I think every Liverpool fan thought you were going to stay with Liverpool forever. When you ditched Liverpool to sign for Real Madrid, there was this unbelievable outrage against you. They called you a traitor. They called you Judas. But not me Mr Owen. I was on your side. I defended you. Make no mistake, you leaving Liverpool devastated me. But still I defended you. I told everyone you were entitled to look after yourself, that you were entitled to go pursue your ambition because Liverpool quite frankly couldn’t fulfill the ambition that you had. I said you didn’t owe the club anything because you have given so much. In fact I felt you have given the club and the fans more than they deserved, so no one can question your decision to leave Liverpool.
Even with the way you left Liverpool, the coldness in the way you make the move to Real Madrid, still I defended you.
When things didn’t go to plan for you at Madrid, the fans that you left ridiculed you. They said that’s what you get for leaving Liverpool. “Suits him right, the Judas!” Still, I defended you.
When Liverpool won the Champions League on that glorious night in Istanbul, the fans mocked you by chanting “Michael where were you in Istanbul?”. Every time I heard that I always snap back “Get off his back, I have no doubt he was cheering for us because he is one of us.” I defended you.
When you chose freaking Newcastle over us they all say you were a money grabbing bastard, that you never cared about Liverpool. You only cared about yourself. “See, didn’t I tell you, he is nothing but a selfish bastard who only cares about money.” You practically spat on our faces, Mr Owen, when you chose Newcastle instead of coming back to us. But still, I defended you.
When Newcastle got relegated, again the insults they directed towards you were thick and fast. They laughed at you, Mr Owen, and still I defended you! After all that you’ve done, I still defended you.
From the height of that treble season you had with us, winning Ballon d’Or, you are now a has been out of contract who got relegated, who is the butt of jokes, who lost all the ability that once made you the most feared striker in the world. Who lost all the respects that you had. AND STILL I DEFENDED YOU!
But no more Mr Owen. Enough is enough. Your latest betrayal is too much for me to take. How could you?! Man Utd? How could you even consider this? Doesn’t Liverpool mean anything to you? You use to wear Liverpool’s jersey and kissed the club crest proudly; didn’t that mean anything to you? You really are the money grabbing cold bastard people were talking about. And to think that I’ve defended you all the time before this. You make me sick, Mr Owen! From now on I couldn’t care less about you. From now on I will never wish you well anymore.
At the time I’m writing this, your move to Man Utd is still pending the medical. But whatever happens in the next few hours, either you pass or fail the medical, either you officially become a Man Utd player or not, you are already tainted.
The bridge is burned, Mr Owen.