Roses Oh Roses

Roses oh roses why are you so senseless
Isn’t it enough to be what you already are
Why do you need to shove yourself to everyone’s noses
Why do you demand to be adored by everyone near and far

Roses oh roses why are you so annoying
You’re already red, pink, white and yellow
Now you want to be blue and black and I bet you’re wishing
To have rainbow coloured leaves that can also glow

Roses oh roses enough is enough
It’s ok to be proud of yourself but don’t be a snob
You better stop it now before I turn rough
Burn all of your petals and hand you over to the angry mob

Inside A Mug

Pick me up with your spoon because right now I feel so small
With all the riches in my life at the moment everything still seem so tall
Burning in the boiling water I keep telling myself to grow some balls
But I keep on running into dead ends and bumping into porcelain wall

Yeah yeah I know you have grown tired listening to all this
You would rather hear me say ‘it’s rosy let’s have some more of that kiss’
But I can’t help it if my life feels like a death sentence from the beast
At times the pain is so real it doesn't matter how hard I hold my fist

I’m at the point where I no longer bother to ask why
It’s easier to fake ignorance than to break fingers digging up the root and cry
Because as soon as the tears stop flowing and I wipe my eyes dry
I’ll be back laughing with my forsaken soul on the same pathetic high

31 years and still all I can see is only the light at the end of the tunnel
Like a never ending journey through a never ending murky canal
Don’t you dare telling me to get some perspective from the stories of them all
No chicken soup nonsense can ease the bulging ache inside from all the wobbles

Now I do understand I always come out looking like a whiny princess
A weak brat who cries like a sissy when things don’t fall into their places
But I know what I’m doing and trust me I’m not being an ungrateful jackass
This is just to let it all out so I can release all the bottled restlessness

So get lost and save your lecture because I know my life sucks
I’ve been lucky all my life and now it looks like I’m running out of luck
Looking to the past present and future I feel like a tiny hopeless little bug
Just waiting for the time, drowning and dying inside a mug




I have got to stop listening to Eminem!

The Night I Offended 'Fate'

How are you doing right now
Have you found someone new or are you still trying
Pity you can’t see the new me laughing out loud
After that lovely night I haven’t even stopped smiling

I actually saw you in my dream recently
You were walking alone aimlessly
Wet from the rain, angry for being lonely
And I just couldn’t help from smirking, forgive me

Still don’t feel too bad though
You made me believe for so long that I was doomed
Pat yourself in the back as you very well know
You did great in turning me into a gloomy loon

But that’s all in the past now isn’t it
That night I found the guts to give you the finger
Was the night my clouded self can finally see it
You were never mine, and you’re not going to be my future

You know the night I’m talking about right
Remember, I suddenly found the courage, out of the blue
Just to tell her I love her, just to tell her that I lied
And how I’ve been denying my true feelings because of you

Thought of life without her freed me from your squeeze
And now, not just I know that you’re not mine
I can even see you’re not what you want me to believe
You are not my life path, and you’re far from being divine

That night she rescued me from you
Was the night she knocked some sense in me too
So I could wave good bye, so I could risk offending you
And that night I offended you, was me taking a forward step or two

I am never going back to you
Because I refuse to believe my destiny is anything like you
I will forever remember that night I offended you
And how she gave me a reason to walk away from you.

7th In The 10th

So here I am seventh in the tenth
Unchanged even it’s the third and second
Self pity’s still without the end
Temper still lacking the medicine
What could it be that keep on pressing
The more I learn the more it’s confusing
Like my mind is inside a coffin
Dark, thick, rough and suffocating

Do I know why do I know how
No need to mull over no need to scout
'Cause I do know why and I do know how
Clear as crystal in my head so loud
To do and to be is all that’s left now
Screw everything, realize my unkept vows
Follow the straight line, no bend and foul
But I stay rooted still, like a silly cow

Perhaps I feel time is on my side
Enough is not enough still plenty to bite
Sun’s still shinning with no sign of the night
This is awful I know but I have tried
Despite strangely looking at myself in spite
I can feel superior, a feeling I try to hide
So what am I to do except keeping it tight
Pray for the light and keep up the fight

It should be easier now since I’ve found her
Still the fight will go on and I will try harder
The pain won’t matter, I’ll keep going forever
For as long as I have my love for her.

*I just want to rhyme, and this is inspired by the Marshall..

Uda & Dara The Musical 2010

I paid RM60 (RM63 if I count the tax) just to sit in an uncomfortable chair for 3 hours, watching a bunch of people screaming meaningless words, failing at their attempt to be poetic, singing terrible songs and dancing unrhythmically. Then, I get to see how in the old days Malay couple used to date in the woods and have sex there.

That’s what I can sum up about Uda & Dara The Musical 2010 (UDTM) I watched last night. That story was supposed to be a tragic tale of love and tragic conflict between the rich and the poor. Unfortunately I did not get any of those from the play. I didn’t see anything that showed how strong the love is between Uda and Dara. I did not see enough hatred and tension between the rich and poor. I just can’t feel it. All I saw were horny young couple getting it on in the woods and an angry young man starting a riot because he got turned down by his girlfriend’s parents. It was a poor interpretation of the Uda & Dara tale, and an even poorer presentation of the story.

Gadis Di Kuburan

Nisan condong tegak bertaburan
gadis menangis kehibaan
tidak ada padang perjuangan
pahlawan gugur bergelimpangan.
Lari gadis menyembah ke tanah
diiringi sedu menggoncang bahu
tenang pahlawan dipeluk bumi
senyum terakhir tenang tersembunyi.

Kenangan lama bermain di hati
pelukan dan kucupan kasih
tidak ada garisan sepi
kata dipadu, janji dikunci.
“Sungguhkah, dinda?” tanya pemuda.
“Benar kanda,” sahutnya manja.
Ke jinjang pelamin setahun lagi
hilir berbiduk ke laut hidup.
Datanglah lamaran ke ayah bonda
penuh khidmat berjunjung duli
tetapi pemuda emas sesaga
tertolaklah lamaran, terurailah janji.

Matahari bersembunyi di balik awan
pulanglah orang membawa usungan
air di kendi kekeringan
terkejut gadis dari menungan.
Melangkah gadis menahan denyutan
pandangan terakhir terlempar ke nisan
setangkai kemboja gugur perlahan
merangkak senja menutup pandangan.

The poem above, Gadis Di Kuburan, was the ‘birth’ of this tale. Usman Awang published that poem in 1953, and in 1956 it was turned into a short story titled Uda & Dara. Since then, countless adaptations of this tale have been done into dramas, plays, etc.

Those earlier adaptations must have been really good for the story to stay famous and relevant till this day. I cannot say the same about this latest adaptation though.

The biggest pull for me to watch this play was Rahim Razali. He is the director, and this is not the first time he directs Uda & Dara. So what could go wrong, right? It’s Rahim Razali, a big name in local theater circuit, directing a play he directed before. Risk free.

Boy, how wrong was I!

I don’t know if there is anything worse than corny lines and corny scenes between two lovers. Basically that’s all the play was about, corny embarrassing scenes and lines. The opening scene that normally sets the tone of any play was bad, but because it’s Rahim Razali’s I quietly told myself to bare with it, it will get better as it go on. Turned out I was extremely deluded, and the only time I clapped during the play was at the end of the opening scene. After that my hands were too busy covering my face in embarrassment.

The romantic scenes made me cringe. The supposedly poetic lines and dialogues left me scratching my head. The action and movement of the actors were way over the top even for a theater, and often not in sync with the dialogues; random meaningless movements. The singing was below average (except for Misha Omar, as expected). The dance choreography was average at best and the dancers looked like they didn’t have enough practice.

The prop change between the scenes was a mess as well. I can’t pinpoint what was wrong with it exactly (I’m no expert of course), but I have never noticed the prop change in a play as much as I noticed it last night. They were slow and it was too obvious; it was painful waiting for them to be done with the prop change at the end of every scene. Unprofessional and disorganized if you like.

The glitch of the background during the opening scene of the show was unforgivable. Mistakes happen, that’s normal. However, the time they took to fix it was unacceptable. I actually felt like climbing up to the control panel (which was just behind me) to help them out with it, that’s how slow it was for them to react. Again, very unprofessional.

Now, the storyline. Like I said earlier, I don’t get it. I simply don’t.

Uda loves Dara, Dara loves Uda. Uda is a man’s man, Dara is the talk of the village. Uda is poor, Dara is spanking rich. So far so good, simple and straightforward.

Let’s continue.

Uda and Dara often date in the woods somewhere. Their date routine seemed to always be the same. Dara will be at the place first. Uda will always be late. Then Dara will get fed up having to wait for Uda everytime. Only then will Uda make his grand entrance. Hiding behind the trees, he will start singing. Dara will be surprised to hear Uda’s voice and starts looking frantically for Uda. She always fails. Uda then will show himself to Dara, emerging from behind the trees. Dara will smile and then they will hold hands.

Ok. Annoying, but ok nonetheless.

They talk about their love. “Abang sayang Dara.” “Dara sayang abang.” That kind of stuff. They talk about getting married. Their plans for the future. And that’s it. That’s all they have to show for their supposedly unbreakable love. No other problems or happenings to lead to the biggest obstacle of their love, the conflict between the rich and poor. It was just not enough to convince me of their love. Their love is the core of this tale, I think they should have put more emphasis on this.

On to the next big issue of the tale, rich vs poor. Nobles vs peasants.

They did try to show how arrogant and cruel the rich and the nobles can be, and just how humble and dignified the poor are. However, again, it was just not enough. Maybe it was the dialogue? The acting? The directing? All of that? I really don’t know. Whatever they were, in the end, Uda and his friends who were supposed to be the good guys came out looking like bitter thugs themselves. They didn’t get what they wanted so the only answer was to “PERANG!” Whyyyyy? Because Uda’s proposal was turned down by Dara’s mum? Way to go the good guys!

I don’t get it!

On to the sex scene. Yup you read that right, sex scene. Never in my wildest dream I would hope to see live sex scene in our country. Sigh.

Ok I’m being unfair there. That scene was supposed to be a beautiful symbolic show of true love between Uda & Dara. (I’m not going into right or wrong argument so save it). That scene was supposed to make you (girls) go “awww”. But like everything else in the play, it was very poorly executed. They had this group of dancers with ‘selendang’ dancing a ballet like dance, the lights were change to beautiful romantic mode, and the music was soft… Still, it went bad. The couple looked like a couple practicing Kamasutra moves. Embarrassing!

I could probably go on and on with this. I could probably think of another 100 reasons why I think the play was terrible. I’m not going to do that though. It’s enough to say that Uda & Dara The Musical 2010 (UDTM) is unfortunate enough to be THE ONLY bad play I have ever seen in my life. Admittedly, I don’t go to that many plays but amongst the plays I’ve seen is Impak Maksima, and I thought it was ok. This goes to show that I don’t have a high standard and I’m not hard to please at all, but still UDTM failed, big time.

I’m so disappointed with Rahim Razali and I hope he can bounce back from this.

Or maybe I’m just not cultured enough to appreciate UDTM. If that’s the case, I sincerely apologise.