Blank pages are all you have With time is something you don’t So pinch harder and stay awake No caring arms will wrap your shoulder
What’s the point of having a point When the point is often not what it should be And sadly the point doesn’t matter anymore Not when the pages are still blatantly empty A cruel, cruel world it has always been said Unforgiving, mean and harsh all the same Sadly still understanding that won’t help you To fill up the blanks on the pages in front of you
No point is worth those blank pages No point is worth draining your time With the blanks getting louder and bolder No point is worth your screams and cries
Whatever it takes just fill the pages Go ahead, kick and scream until it's beaten And whatever it takes push those arms away If they pretend to care all of sudden
So pinch harder and stay awake Remember no caring arms will wrap your shoulders Remember time is something you do not have Remember no point is worth all the troubles
Don’t know how I get to this point really And still the pages are blatantly empty
Little grasshopper gives lesson Hopping here and there in no time at all Good or bad he keeps on hopping Without hesitation avoiding the fall
Little grasshopper won’t stay long Guess he feels too long brings harm Conscience is clear though he may be wrong He fears overstaying his welcome He probably does what he is supposed to Hopping on the tall green grass for reasons not clear He probably does it really good too But overstaying his welcome will only bring tears
Sometimes he gets cozy and wants to linger Staying on the tall green grass is what he wants At the same time he can’t help but wonder Why the tall green grass keeps bowing down
Little grasshopper needs to keep hopping on As it’s clear he’s weighing the grass down He hops off the grass for one last time Straight on to the bare dusty ground
Maybe he’ll be back on the tall green grass Maybe he will stay on the bare dusty ground Whichever way he will keep hoping on As overstaying his welcome will only bring harm
You’ve been my golden best friend Now with post-demise at hand Can’t go to you for consolation Cause we’re off limits during this transition
This grief overwhelms me It burns in my stomach And I can’t stop bumping into things I thought we’d be simple together I thought we’d be happy together Thought we’d be limitless together I thought we’d be precious together But I was sadly mistaken
You’ve been my soulmate and mentor I remembered you the moment I met you With you I knew god’s face was handsome With you I suffered an expansion
This loss is numbing me It pierces my chest And I can’t stop dropping everything
I thought we’d be sexy together Thought we’d be evolving together I thought we’d have children together I thought we’d be family together But I was sadly mistaken
If I had a bill for all the philosophies I shared If I had a penny for all the possibilities I presented If I had a dime for every hand thrown up in the air My wealth would render this no less severe
I thought we’d be genius together I thought we’d be healing together I thought we’d be growing together Thought we’d be adventurous together But I was sadly mistaken
Thought we’d be exploring together Thought we’d be inspired together I thought we’d be flying together Thought we’d be on fire together But I was sadly mistaken
That says it all right there. If I stop right there, right after ‘I hate myself’, it will still be enough to show how I’m feeling right now. I’m not feeling good. I’m feeling terrible. I feel shit actually. Things have been happening for the past week, with today the worst of it all. Today better be the peak because I don’t know if I can handle anything worse. The thing is, this shitty feeling I’m feeling now comes from the disappointment of not being able to handle even the slightest of mishap. That’s why I hate myself. Just barely a month ago I feel like I’m on top of the world with everything going great. Like everything is in order, going the right way. Now I feel everything is falling apart. You see how stupid that is? The only place I belong to is inside a cotton wool wrapper.
Just a month ago I feel like I have completely ‘healed’, 100%. But I was mistaken. I wasn’t ‘healed’. How can you heal from something that you are? This is just me. I thought I changed because of the things that happened to me a few years back. When I really think about it though, nothing changed me. Nothing changed me into something that I thought I could heal from. This is just me. Right from the start of the time, this is me. The real me. Sometimes I managed to disguise the real me really good, even from myself. Right now though, stripped to the bone, it is becoming clear to me that how I am right at this moment is the real me. I didn’t change a few years back. I have always been like how I am now.
Realising that makes me hates myself. And if I fail to love myself, how can I love anyone else?
I have come to the conclusion that men are a far more superior being compared to women. It’s a proven fact, both scientifically and theologically. There is absolutely no denying that. Since the beginning of time this fact has been proven. The cavemen knew this, the Jahiliah knew this, the Dark Ages knew this. However, somehow, we the modern day men managed to forget about this.
The cavemen treated their women like possessions; familiar with comic strip of a caveman dragging his woman around by the hair? That is brilliant. Straight to the point, put women to their rightful place. Shame we fail to continue that. The Jahiliah, well, they simply tried to get rid of women by killing baby girls, or keep women to the absolute minimum, for entertainment purposes and also to bear their child only. However Islam came and rightfully put an end to it. The dark ages were the same and the emergence of the ridiculous chivalry concept changed everything. The only good thing about the chivalry was that it stopped the killing, that’s it. Women do not deserve any form of chivalry at all beyond that and should… Sigh. I love writing. The problem is I’m too lazy I can’t seem to find anything worthy to write about. So I came out with stuff like above. It is entertaining to me. I've written loads like that, maybe one day I'll compile them all and publish it in this blog. It will be under ‘I couldn’t care less’ tag, the stuff where I write whatever I have in mind without sugar coating it or without thinking about the repercussion that could come from it. That would be fun, wouldn’t it? And I will put a disclaimer, “I may or may not mean what I write here”, just so no one could use it against me.
Anyway, like I said I love writing. If only I had more drive in me I’d probably be writing seriously right now. If a guy who tweets about his 70 year old dad ramblings can have a New York Times best seller and a sitcom under his belt, I like to think I’m in with a good chance as well.
But I’m still here in this blog, writing about nothing with hardly any readers at all. Don’t worry, I’m fine with it. The reason I started this blog was so I can channel out whatever I feel inside. I’m a very private guy, I don’t really let my feelings out even to the people dearest to me. This blog is my ‘wall punching’, my ‘covering face with pillow and yell your heart out’ thing. It has served me pretty well so far.
I do feel proud of this blog. Looking back and reading back from the very first entry on here, I think I’ve done a good job 'recording' my life journey so far. There are entries that I’m really proud of, that put a smile on my face reminiscing. There are entries that bring tears to my eyes and there are also entries that make me cringe. Can’t believe it has only been three and a half years since I started it. The things I wrote in here are like a very distant memory, things that happened to me a long, long time ago. To that, I’m thankful.
I can’t say I have changed much, but I have changed. Things around me have changed. People around me have changed. The way I see things definitely changed. The most important thing that I have realized is people are idiots. Right left centre you have idiots coming at you from every direction. People who play the victim cards are the biggest idiot, and the most dangerous. The most selfish people are the people who appeared as the most unselfish at first. In short, people are hypocrites, even the nicest of people. And I think in my own way, I’ve learned how to deal with them a lot better.
I’m still not where I’m supposed to and want myself to be. However now I see that as a good thing because I feel only corpses should be where they are supposed to be. Very few things should be where they are supposed to be.
I will keep using this blog to pour out what I feel inside. The entries will be a lot less frequent and far in between but I don't think I will ever abandon it. This blog is something that is precious to me and I hold it very dearly.
Here's to another three and a half years of The Good Boy...
Perplexed Sometimes that is how I feel With all the sugary in front of you You choose me instead
Overwhelming Never have I dared to dream Nor have I dared to wish for all this I’m loving this feeling To think that all this are for real With you, I surrender myself My love, my heart, my soul My life, everything is for you
With you, my fears disappear With you, the mountains are just a climb up Even the dampening rain brings warmth With you, I see roses without thorns
I'm not afraid to take a stand Everybody come take my hand We'll walk this road together, through the storm Whatever weather, cold or warm Just let you know that, you're not alone Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road
Yeah, It's been a ride... I guess I had to go to that place to get to this one Now some of you might still be in that place If you're trying to get out, just follow me I'll get you there
You can try and read my lyrics off of this paper before I lay 'em But you won't take this thing out these words before I say 'em Cause ain't no way I'm let you stop me from causing mayhem When I say 'em or do something I do it, I don't give a damn What you think, I'm doing this for me, so fuck the world Feed it beans, it's gassed up, if a thing's stopping me I'mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly And all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony No if ands or buts don't try to ask him why or how can he From Infinite down to the last Relapse album he's still shit'n Whether he's on salary, paid hourly Until he bows out or he shit's his bowels out of him Whichever comes first, for better or worse He's married to the game, like a fuck you for christmas His gift is a curse, forget the earth he's got the urge To pull his dick from the dirt and fuck the universe
I'm not afraid to take a stand Everybody come take my hand We'll walk this road together, through the storm Whatever weather, cold or warm Just let you know that, you're not alone Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road
Ok quit playin' with the scissors and shit, and cut the crap I shouldn't have to rhyme these words in the rhythm for you to know it's a rap You said you was king, you lied through your teeth For that fuck your feelings, instead of getting crowned you're getting capped And to the fans, I'll never let you down again, I'm back I promise to never go back on that promise, in fact Let's be honest, that last Relapse CD was "ehhhh" Perhaps I ran them accents into the ground
Relax, I ain't going back to that now All I'm tryna say is get back, click-clack BLAOW Cause I ain't playin' around There's a game called circle and I don't know how I'm way too up to back down But I think I'm still tryna figure this crap out Thought I had it mapped out but I guess I didn't This fucking black cloud still follow's me around But it's time to exercise these demons These motherfuckers are doing jumping jacks now!
I'm not afraid to take a stand Everybody come take my hand We'll walk this road together, through the storm Whatever weather, cold or warm Just let you know that, you're not alone Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road
And I just can't keep living this way So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage I'm standing up, Imma face my demons I'm manning up, Imma hold my ground I've had enough, now I'm so fed up Time to put my life back together right now
It was my decision to get clean, I did it for me Admittedly I probably did it subliminally for you So I could come back a brand new me, you helped see me through And don't even realise what you did, believe me you I been through the ringer, but they can do little to the middle finger I think I got a tear in my eye, I feel like the king of My world, haters can make like bees with no stingers, and drop dead No more beef flingers, no more drama from now on, I promise To focus soley on handling my responsibility's as a father So I solemnly swear to always treat this roof like my daughters and raise it You couldn't lift a single shingle on it Cause the way I feel, I'm strong enough to go to the club Or the corner pub and lift the whole liquor counter up Cause I'm raising the bar, I shoot for the moon But I'm too busy gazing at stars, I feel amazing and
Liverpool Football Club is ill. The reason? Tom Hicks and George Gillett. To read all about it, visit Spirit of Shankly (SOS) website.
Whatever your views of SOS may be, we should all put our differences aside and start to concentrate on one mighty push to oust Tom & George. It’s now crunch time. They are looking to refinance their loan and maintain their grip on Liverpool. The dateline is 6th Oct. That is only a week away. We need to make sure no one will agree to their refinancing proposal. We need to send them packing back with their tails between their legs come 6th Oct. SOS came out with this latest initiative in their campaign to oust the Americans, Tom & George Not Welcome Anywhere. Click on the link and read about it. It’s simple yet brilliant. Please show your support to it.
Like I said, D Day is a week away. Let’s make it happen. One mighty push, hopefully the last, to oust Tom & George.
"That I've been basically honest in a game in which it is sometimes difficult to be honest. Sometimes you‘ve got to tell a little white lie to get over a little troublesome period of time. I'd like to think that I have put more into the game than I have taken out. And that I haven‘t cheated anybody, that I've been working for people honestly all along the line, for the people of Liverpool who go to Anfield. I'd like to be recognised for trying to give them entertainment.
I'd played at Anfield and I knew the crowd was fantastic. I knew there was a public just waiting. So I fought the battles inside and outside. I was interested in only one thing, success for the club. And that meant success for the people. I wanted results for the club, for the love of the game, tomake the people happy."
-Bill Shankly, when asked how he would like to be remembered-
29 September 1981 was the day Bill Shankly passed away. For those who don’t know, he is the man responsible for what Liverpool Football Club is today (before the two owners Hicks & Gillet got their fangs on the club that is). How we could use someone like him right now.
This post is my little tribute to him. A great man, the greatest ever Liverpool manager and a great servant of football in general.
Mr Bill Shankly, you made the people happy.
"I am very pleased to and proud to have been chosen as manager of Liverpool FC, a club of such potential. It is my opinion that Liverpool have a crowd of followers which rank with the greatest in the game. They deserve success and I hope, in my own small way, I am able to do something towards to help them achieve it. I make no promises except that from the moment I take over I shall put everything into the job I so willingly undertake."
-Bill Shankly to the press when he took over at Liverpool in 1959.
"Before the game, in the dressing room, Bill talked to the lads. He said, 'You've read about Anderlecht having all these internationals and how good they are. They can't play. They're rubbish. I've seen them and I'm telling you. You'll murder them, so go out there and do it.' The boys went out there and murdered them. They won 3-0. And after the game, Bill burst into the dressing room and said 'Boys, you've just beaten the greatest team in Europe."
-BOB PAISLEY on beating Anderlecht in 1964
"Its a conspiracy. A war of nerves."
-In Bucharest before an away European tie Shankly was raging because the hotel had no Coca-Cola for his players.
"Of course a player can have sexual intercourse before a match and play a blinder. But if he did it for six months, he'd be a decrepit old man. It takes the strength from the body."
-Shanks had clear ideas on sex before a game
'Ladies, tonight is your night. And if the men perform half as well as they did this afternoon, you're in for a bloody good night.'
-Bill Shankly to the wives of the players. He had phoned the players earlier asking them to refrain from sex before playing Manchester United. Liverpool won 3-0.
"Shanks had a knack of making his players feel special. One night before a particularly big match he phoned my wife and told her to lock me away on my own all night. He said that sex was out of the question because he wanted his most vital player at his peak the next day. I felt ten feet tall, until I found the next day that Shanks had also rung up Ian St John’s and Roger Hunt’s wives and told them exactly the same thing!"
-PETER THOMPSON
"I know this is a sad occasion but I think that Dixie would be amazed to know that even in death he could draw a bigger crowd than Everton can on a Saturday afternoon."
-Attending the funeral of Everton legend Dixie Dean, Shanks was amazed by the size of the crowd outside St James' church.
"I've never seen any of the Beatles standing on the Kop and any tickets I have spare will be going to my mates on the Kop."
-Bill Shankly response to Beatles' manager, Brian Epstein's request of getting tickets for the 1965 Cup Final
"When I married Bill I married a man to whom football was a fierce passion. And it had its benefits; whenever Liverpool lost, which wasn't very often, he'd be so upset he'd come home, go straight into the kitchen and clean out the oven over and over again until it was spotless. It was the only way he knew to relieve the frustration."
-NESSIE SHANKLY
"He was infectious, got you buzzing, kept you interested in the club. Nothing else but football though. You could mention something and he’d equate it to football. You’d say something about the weather, 'Aye son, good day for skidding the ball across the grass'."
--TOMMY SMITH, LIVERPOOL 1962-1978
"We were staying and playing in Belgium one time, and this night Chris Lawler and I had gone to a casino just opposite the hotel but the rest of the lads had gone down to the village for a drink after the game. At twelve o'clock Shanks stormed into the casino and dragged us back to the hotel. We knew he was in a foul mood, and we were up in our rooms, looking down the road, when we heard the rest of them coming back.. there was Gerry Byrne, Roger Hunt, Geoff Strong, Tommy Lawrence, Gordon Milne, all singing and kicking a few beer cans along, that sort of thing.
There was a small playground in front of the hotel and they were mucking about on the swings. We knew Shanks was waiting downstairs, so we tried to tell them to quieten it a bit, but they didn't pay any attention. Too far gone for that! It was about half-past one, and they came falling into the lobby, shouting and bawling, and Shanks was so flabbergasted he didn't know what to do or where to start, and of all people he picks on Cally. 'You, Callaghan... ', he says, and you can see he's reaching for the right thing to say. 'You... I'm going to tell your wife on you!' Everybody just collapsed!"
-TOMMY SMITH
"In his retirement Shanks used to help out with the schoolboys at Everton and I'd never seen anything like it. There he was, well into his sixties, mixing it with the kids, playing his heart out and motivating his side to do the same, moaning if there was a free kick against him and shaking hands and patting lads on the back whenever his side got a goal. He was just like one of the kids himself.
He used to come to me and give me a match report afterward. He once said 'Great game today Mick. We won 19-17!' It was almost as if he were back in the school playground. Most importantly he enjoyed himself and I always got a kick when I saw that."
-MIKE LYONS, Everton captain of the 1970s
"The decades have drifted past, yet still I recall those Sunday afternoons when Nessie Shankly's kindly voice would come crackling down the line. "I'm sorry, Bill's not here," she would say. "He's over the park, playing football with the kids. When will he be back, you say? When he wins, of course." And you could hear the chuckle as she put down the telephone.
Half-an-hour later the man himself would come on, a touch breathless, to tell of his part in the nine-goal thriller and of how he had laid on the winner, with the park-keeper tapping his watch and the mothers calling them in for their tea. And then Bill Shankly would talk football. And I, the rawest of rookies, would listen, scribble and revel in the tutorial.
The results of the scribblings would appear in a weekly magazine. A senior colleague, a trusted friend of Shankly, had approached him to write a column. Bill mulled it over for a moment and then, suddenly, he beamed. 'I'll do it, on one condition,' he said. 'I don't want any payment.' We waited for an explanation.
'I had to pay a lot of tax last year,' he said. 'Next year, when I see the tax man, he'll say: 'You reckon you've declared everything, Mr Shankly, but you haven't told us what you earned from this football column. So I reckon we've got you.' And I'll say: 'I never took a bloody penny for it, so who's got who, son? Eh?' And he cackled triumphantly, as we attempted to interpret the economics of his prank."
-PATRICK COLLINS, Daily Mail reporter
"Adidas wanted to present him with a Golden Boot in recognition of what he'd done. Bob [Paisley] took the call and said, 'They want to know what shoe size you take'. Shanks shouted back, 'If it's gold, I'm a 28."
-TOMMY DOCHERTY - [Adidas wanted to honour Bill just after he had announced his retirement]
I have a few memorable personal recollections of the great man. Immediately after the never-to-be-forgotten European Cup win in Rome in 1977 Tommy Smith had his testimonial game at Anfield, which was a match between Liverpool (who had just returned from Rome to an open topped bus recepti n through the streets of the city) and an England XI. I can’t remember the result but, because my best mate was the organiser of Smithy’s testimonial committee, I was in the directors box for the game and had access to the trophy room afterwards. Talk about a kid in a candy store!! I caressed both the League Championship trophy and the European Cup and got stuck into the scotch whilst having a conversation with Bobby Charlton (I kid you not). Eventually I saw the great man standing in a corner of the trophy room, totally alone, traditional white mac draped on his shoulders. I felt compelled to speak to him but had difficulty summoning up the bottle to do so. Eventually, after a couple more large drams I plucked up courage to pass him on my way to the toilet. “This is all down to you Mr Shankly” I blurted out. “Thank you, son” he replied. I went to the toilet and cried my eyes out. I should maybe point out that I was nearly 40 at the time so his reference to me as ‘son’ and my lachrymose reaction were indicative of the way that football transcends normal human responses.
--John Martin, a Liverpool fan
"I don't believe everything Bill tells me about his players. If they were that good, they'd not only have won the European Cup but the Ryder Cup, the Boat Race and even the Grand National!"
-JOCK STEIN, Legendary Celtic and Scotland manager
"I don't think there has ever been any character in sport with so many stories told about him like Bill Shankly. And the amazing thing about it is a lot of people don't believe that they're true, but nearly every story people tell about him is true. This is the man."
-COLIN WOOD, Daily Mail reporter when Shanks was manager
"They say he was tough, he's hard, he's ruthless. Rubbish. He's got a heart of gold, he loves the game, he loves his fans, he loves his players. He's like an old Collie dog, he doesn't like hurting his sheep. He'll drive them certainly, but bite them, never."
-JOE MERCER, Everton and Arsenal legend
"One man transformed Liverpool from a run-of-the-mill Second Division team into the greatest team in the world. That man, of course, was Bill Shankly. His philosophy was simple; If you are going to to play football, you play to win. While he was the making of Liverpool, there is no doubt that Anfield was the making of Bill Shankly. His character, his own enthusiasm, his will to win were so infectious."
-BOB PAISLEY
"My idea was to build Liverpool into a bastion of invincibility. Napoleon had that idea. He wanted to conquer the bloody world. I wanted Liverpool to be untouchable. My idea was to build Liverpool up and up until eventually everyone would have to submit and give in"
-Bill Shankly You'll Never Walk Alone
**edit - Oops sorry, forgot to credit Shankly.com for all the stories & quotes. Great site, check it out.
I received a letter from a bank. RHB Bank to be exact, the bank who claims to make banking much simpler to Malaysian; what a noble bank. Seeing RHB’s name on the letter made me happy, because I thought they miss me or something. You see, I was their credit card holder for a few years. I terminated the card a few months back quite simply because their rewards and discounts suck.
So seeing their letter I thought they wanted to wish me Selamat Hari Raya or since my birthday is coming soon (21st Oct, don’t forget!) I thought they wanted to offer me some nice pre-birthday gift. It wouldn’t surprise me if they did because I was a good little customer of theirs. I never missed a due date and once I even pay them extra money for my credit card (true story, I got my credit card bill once stating they owe me money!). Anyway, there I was happily tearing the letter open and guess what, they are chasing after me because I haven’t settled my credit card payment! And this is the priceless part, I owe them an earth shattering grand total of RM0.04! Four cents! 4. Cents. That’s four of the ugly tiny little coins that do not have any value anymore!
Now I honestly thought I’ve settled the full amount of what I owed them when I terminated the card. Looking back though, it is possible that I just rounded up the amount owed and paid a little less. RM0.04 less. And it is possible I rounded it up because I thought a bank won’t care about the four cents. Looks like I’m wrong. Obviously that four cents are very important to them, what with banks paying their top people 100 year bonuses and all, every cent counts!
At that time surely I’d have thought they will just write off the four cents, but no, they really want their four cents. They want it so bad that they are willing to spend more than four cents in ink cartridges and paper and postage and manpower to send me a letter to remind me about the four cents I owe them. Brilliant!
I like their letter too. They try hard to be polite in telling me they are a bunch of tight-asses.
Dear Sir,
We wish to advice that your account is past due. You may have overlooked the payment due to your busy schedule.The only thing I overlooked was the fact that you banks are tight-asses. We appreciate if you could remit the minimum amount due to regularize the account.I’m sure your top people would appreciate my would-be four cents contribution to their 100 year bonus. Please contact our Collection Unit if you require further clarification.Don’t count on it. Please disregard this notice if you have made the payment.Other than writing this to ridicule your bank, I’ll disregard your notice regardless; further payment or not.
Now this is the best part. At the bottom of the letter, there is a paragraph about Bank Negara’s Counseling and Credit Management Agency. Hah, I so need counseling on how to manage my RM0.04 debt! Thanks a lot!
You know what, since they are being so polite about it I think I’m going to pay. To RHB, I hope your cash deposit machines are able to accept coins, or be prepared to scour for four little tiny ugly coins inside your cash deposit machine at Taipan.
1- I’m in love. Really in love. So much in love that the future doesn’t scare me as much anymore. What looks like a dead end before now looks wide open with countless possibilities.
2- I still think women are princesses though. Princesses that I have no chance of understanding anytime soon, maybe not even ever. But that’s ok, because the one I love is totally worth it. Definitely more than I deserve.
3- I’m happy with my life right now. I feel like I have everything in order. The only thing that is left for me is to get rich. Maybe I should start buying lotteries.
4- I’ve become lazy. Not lazy personally because I have always been lazy. I’m talking about work. It’s just so hard for me to work hard now (or just work). I’m officially blaming two shit workplaces for this. But the real problem might just be myself. Because I am lazy. No denying that. So GLC here I come! 5- Eminem came out with recovery. And I love everything about it. Though he seems to be ‘nicer’, he is almost back to his old self. Great album.
6- It took me about 15mins to write an email in Malay just now. Trying to be proper in Malay is just so hard. It would be easier to write an email in Arabic.
7- Liverpool is in deep trouble. So much in trouble that I don’t really care we lost to Man Utd last night. This season is a write off to me. I don’t care where we will end up at the end of the season. I don’t care if we got relegated. I don’t care if any of the star players leave. I don’t care if Torres leaves. I just want the owners to be gone. 6th October is a mighty important date for Liverpool. Hopefully all will be cleared then. Then we can start rebuilding. I don’t care how painful the rebuilding process will be as long as the owners are gone. Yanks out!
8- I’m ashamed of my phone. To me now it looks like an ugly brick.
9- I absolutely love living alone. It is bliss. I have no words to describe just how great it is. But I’m willing to let it go, in exchange with a life together with my girlfriend. Hope it will happen soon.
10- I hate people more than ever now. I hate them so much that I prefer ants. At least I don’t feel guilty killing ants.
11- I’m old. The grey hair on my head proves that. And my hatred for text speak proves it even more. Sajew? Besaw? Pown? What the heck is that? The purpose of text speak is to shorten certain spelling so it will be easier to text. It is not to be fancy, it is not to be cool. It had a valid purpose to it but now text speak seems to beat its purpose. Arynie? I don’t get it!
12- I hardly update my blog anymore. That’s because I use my blog mainly to whine. Right now I’m happy. I’m happy because I am in love. So there’s not much to whine about.
13- I got two raya cards this year. One misspelled my name. But that’s ok, in the spirit of hari raya I forgave them. I also got duit raya this year. Getting duit raya made forgiving people who misspelled my name a lot easier.
14- My girlfriend has a new blog. A review blog for beauty products (or as I fondly call ‘benda-benda pelik’). Beauty and A Girl . Please visit and show your support. Thank you.
15- Bruce is driving pretty well right now. So that’s great. But it cost almost 5k to get it running good like now. And there’s no telling how long it will stay good. I hate Proton, but I can’t live without them. Sigh.
16- Have I mentioned that I’m in love? Because I am. I am in love.
It’s a scary world out there Sometimes too scary all I wanted to do is sleep Because in my sleep everything I see is not real Reality can’t compare to my dreams Or my nightmares
I never cared much for anything Greed they say is what brings all the troubles Shrugging your shoulders ought to shield you from the pain I guess that’s my way of staying safe Or so I thought I’d be safe It’s not your fault The only thing you did wrong was to find me As all this would have been a nothing Nothingness can’t hurt you the way you are hurting right now It wouldn’t beat you up silly
But there is no honour in nothingness So we take the risk of taking the risk Pushing aside our fears with the hope everything will be fine Battling our fears that keep going in circle Round and round
And it just never ends And it just can’t go back to that point we wish it to be Once it is gone it will never come back Harsh it may seem but that’s the way it is How wonderful if we could put a stop to it
I am hurting right now If not worse probably just as much as you are In my dreams it has never drifted to this The point where I need to stop dragging my feet And be face to face with reality
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn Well that's all right because I like the way it hurts Just gonna stand there and hear me cry Well that's all right because I love the way you lie I love the way you lie
I can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like And right now it's a steel knife in my windpipe I can't breathe but I still fight while I can fight As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight High off her love, drunk from my hate, it's like I'm huffin' paint And I love it the more I suffer, I suffocate And right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates me, she f**kin' hates me And I love it, "wait, where you goin'?" "I'm leavin' you," "no you ain't come back" We're runnin' right back, here we go again So insane, cause when it's goin' good it's goin' great I'm superman with the wind in his back, she's Lois Lane But when it's bad it's awful, I feel so ashamed I snap Whose that dude? I don't even know his name I laid hands on her I never stoop so low again I guess I don't know my own strength
[Chorus]
You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe When you with em you meet and neither one of you even know what hit em Got that warm fuzzy feeling Yeah them chills used to get em Now you're getting f**kin' sick of lookin' at em You swore you'd never hit em, never do nothin' to hurt em Now you're in each other's face spewin' venom in your words when you spit em You push pull each other's hair Scratch claw hit em throw em down pin em So lost in the moments when you're in em It's the face that's the culprit, controls you both So they say it's best to go your seperate ways Guess that they don't know ya Cause today that was yesterday Yesterday is over, it's a different day Sound like broken records playin' over But you promised her next time you'll show restraint You don't get another chance Life is no nintendo game, but you lied again Now you get to watch her leave out the window Guess that's why they call it window pane
[Chorus]
Now I know we said things, did things, that we didn't mean And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine But your temper's just as bad as mine is, you're the same as me When it comes to love you're just as blinded Baby please come back, it wasn't you, baby it was me Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano All I know is I love you too much to walk away though Come inside, pick up the bags off the sidewalk Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk? Told you this is my fault, look me in the eyeball Next time I'm pissed I'll aim my fist at the drywall Next time there won't be no next time I apologize even though I know it's lies I'm tired of the games I just want her back I know I'm a liar if she ever tries to f**kin' leave again I'ma tie her to the bed and set this house on fire
Are you dead Or are you just disappointed with yourself Don’t be too hard on yourself Let me do that for you
Don’t you start pointing your finger You should point your brain instead To the right direction so you can see How you mess everything up by being you Cry cry cry Apologies with that sad face of yours Let the tears flow some more Let’s do it over and over because it’s great fun
Am I being hard enough Snigger, we both know it will never be enough Not with you as you’re truly special A mythical breed with legendary stories
Again, am I being hard enough You like to rip into people right So for sure you can take your own ripping You can give some surely you can take some
Have a look back See how many moments you’ve wasted And try to guess how many moments I let it go Perhaps you’ll understand how I’m feeling
Said it before Now I’m saying it again Once the headache gets too much I’ll happily walk away
For the last time Am I being too hard I’ll probably regret this tomorrow But at least I get to say this out loud
Okay, now you can go cry some more And no, I’ll never take this down
Step one you say we need to talk He walks you say sit down it's just a talk He smiles politely back at you You stare politely right on through Some sort of window to your right As he goes left and you stay right Between the lines of fear and blame You begin to wonder why you came CHORUS: Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life
Let him know that you know best Cause after all you do know best Try to slip past his defense Without granting innocence Lay down a list of what is wrong The things you've told him all along And pray to God he hears you And pray to God he hears you
CHORUS: Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life
As he begins to raise his voice You lower yours and grant him one last choice Drive until you lose the road Or break with the ones you've followed He will do one of two things He will admit to everything Or he'll say he's just not the same And you'll begin to wonder why you came
CHORUS: Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life
What is wrong with Inception? I’ve been thinking about this immediately after the movie ended and I'm still not sure. Something is lacking. It’s not a bad movie, in fact I think it’s good. But something or the lack of something about the movie is bugging me. Walking out from the cinema I wasn’t fully satisfied when I really should be, because the movie was good, the acting was good, the story was good…still I wasn’t satisfied. There is SOMETHING missing..
I first saw the Inception trailer on Star Online and immediately I wanted to watch it because it is similar to ‘Dark City’, a movie I really like (I watched Dark City way back when I was studying in Arau). Then I found out Inception is Christopher Nolan’s and I was completely sold. He is my favorite director, and The Prestige and of course the Dark Knight are my favorite movies of his. Another reason I really wanted to watch this movie was because of Leonardo DiCaprio. For me he is a brilliant actor and very underrated as well. I’m a fan of his since ‘The Beach’ and I cannot understand how some people still cannot see the brilliant actor that he is. Criminally underrated.
Inception is like the Italian Job or Ocean’s Eleven (or twelfth/thirteen/thousand), the difference is the gang of inception do their ‘conning’ through dreams. Interesting idea, though not the ‘original idea’ some of the critics would like you to believe. Matrix used the idea before and I’m sure there are a few other movies that have used the idea as well. Basically the movie is about messing with people’s minds to get to your goal.
My eyes were glued to the screen for the entire duration of the movie. It was just so absorbing, so intense. It was intelligent and the details Christ Nolan put into the movie was amazing.
I’m not going to say much more about it because the less you know the better. I was just too excited and read quite a few reviews and that turned out to be a mistake.I went into the cinema with a really high expectation; in the end Inception fell a bit short and I can’t help but feeling disappointed. A pity really, I should be happy with the quality of the movie.
Like I said earlier I can’t quite put my finger on exactly what is wrong but it probably the combination of a few things. One certain factor is the sucky seat I had in the cinema. I got the couple seat and I was really looking forward to cuddling with my gf while enjoying the movie but all I got in the end was a serious back pain. Calling the seat a ‘couple seat’ has got to be a cruel joke because we had to stay as far apart as possible just to be comfortable. Seating on it for almost 3 hours was no laughing matter. Such a pain!
The high expectation I had of course didn’t help. Reading the reviews, the words used to describe Inception were over the top. ‘Insanely intelligent, ‘mind boggling concept’, and the most ridiculous ‘the best movie ever’ were some of the descriptions used. To me, the movie is intelligent but saying it's insanely intelligent and calling Christ Nolan a genius because of it do not seem right. He's a genius alright, but not because of Inception. Mind boggling concept? Like I said lots have used the idea before, Christ Nolan merely put his own spin on it. Best movie ever? Sigh, it is not even the best Christ Nolan movie. Definitely not as good as The Prestige and Dark Knight.
The problem is though, most of the reviews I read were from a forum I really trusted and often agrees with when it comes to movies. I’m still scratching my head on this, how can I see Inception very differently from them? Did I miss anything from the movie? Do I not understand it? Am I not intelligent enough to understand it?
Or maybe, since this is a Christ Nolan movie, everybody wants this movie to be so good they failed to see it as it is...
The more I think about it the more I feel the problem with Inception is the storytelling. Apart from the intensity, it fails to connect with me through its characters (except for Dom Cobb). It also fails to go deeper on the conflicts and the problems as it is so fast paced (but at the same time the fast pace carries the intensity very well). Basically the movie focuses too much on Dom Cobb and neglects the rest. It could have gone deeper into the relationship between Fischer Jr and his dad, but it doesn’t. And for Ariadne, hmm, she is so underused to me (again, not going into details here, I don’t want this review to be a spoiler).
So after all my comments, how can I still say it’s a good movie? Well that’s because I keep thinking about it until now, and that’s the mark of a good movie. The intensity stays with you long after you left the cinema. It will keep occupying your mind even after you sleep on it. Inception does all that to me. And the reason I keep thinking about it is the ending. For me, they did the ending perfectly. It’s not just one of those endings where they leave the possibility of a sequel wide open, Inception ending actually dictates the whole story. How you see certain characters and happenings in the movie depends on how you interpret the ending.
By and large Inception is a good movie, one of the best I've seen this year actually. It's just the over the top reviews almost ruined it for me. Although it is not quite the instant classic some made it out to be, I am probably going to give it another watch. I'm definitely recommending this movie to everyone. Go watch it.
Roses oh roses why are you so senseless Isn’t it enough to be what you already are Why do you need to shove yourself to everyone’s noses Why do you demand to be adored by everyone near and far
Roses oh roses why are you so annoying You’re already red, pink, white and yellow Now you want to be blue and black and I bet you’re wishing To have rainbow coloured leaves that can also glow Roses oh roses enough is enough It’s ok to be proud of yourself but don’t be a snob You better stop it now before I turn rough Burn all of your petals and hand you over to the angry mob
Pick me up with your spoon because right now I feel so small With all the riches in my life at the moment everything still seem so tall Burning in the boiling water I keep telling myself to grow some balls But I keep on running into dead ends and bumping into porcelain wall
Yeah yeah I know you have grown tired listening to all this You would rather hear me say ‘it’s rosy let’s have some more of that kiss’ But I can’t help it if my life feels like a death sentence from the beast At times the pain is so real it doesn't matter how hard I hold my fist I’m at the point where I no longer bother to ask why It’s easier to fake ignorance than to break fingers digging up the root and cry Because as soon as the tears stop flowing and I wipe my eyes dry I’ll be back laughing with my forsaken soul on the same pathetic high
31 years and still all I can see is only the light at the end of the tunnel Like a never ending journey through a never ending murky canal Don’t you dare telling me to get some perspective from the stories of them all No chicken soup nonsense can ease the bulging ache inside from all the wobbles
Now I do understand I always come out looking like a whiny princess A weak brat who cries like a sissy when things don’t fall into their places But I know what I’m doing and trust me I’m not being an ungrateful jackass This is just to let it all out so I can release all the bottled restlessness
So get lost and save your lecture because I know my life sucks I’ve been lucky all my life and now it looks like I’m running out of luck Looking to the past present and future I feel like a tiny hopeless little bug Just waiting for the time, drowning and dying inside a mug
How are you doing right now Have you found someone new or are you still trying Pity you can’t see the new me laughing out loud After that lovely night I haven’t even stopped smiling
I actually saw you in my dream recently You were walking alone aimlessly Wet from the rain, angry for being lonely And I just couldn’t help from smirking, forgive me Still don’t feel too bad though You made me believe for so long that I was doomed Pat yourself in the back as you very well know You did great in turning me into a gloomy loon
But that’s all in the past now isn’t it That night I found the guts to give you the finger Was the night my clouded self can finally see it You were never mine, and you’re not going to be my future
You know the night I’m talking about right Remember, I suddenly found the courage, out of the blue Just to tell her I love her, just to tell her that I lied And how I’ve been denying my true feelings because of you
Thought of life without her freed me from your squeeze And now, not just I know that you’re not mine I can even see you’re not what you want me to believe You are not my life path, and you’re far from being divine
That night she rescued me from you Was the night she knocked some sense in me too So I could wave good bye, so I could risk offending you And that night I offended you, was me taking a forward step or two
I am never going back to you Because I refuse to believe my destiny is anything like you I will forever remember that night I offended you And how she gave me a reason to walk away from you.
So here I am seventh in the tenth Unchanged even it’s the third and second Self pity’s still without the end Temper still lacking the medicine What could it be that keep on pressing The more I learn the more it’s confusing Like my mind is inside a coffin Dark, thick, rough and suffocating Do I know why do I know how No need to mull over no need to scout 'Cause I do know why and I do know how Clear as crystal in my head so loud To do and to be is all that’s left now Screw everything, realize my unkept vows Follow the straight line, no bend and foul But I stay rooted still, like a silly cow
Perhaps I feel time is on my side Enough is not enough still plenty to bite Sun’s still shinning with no sign of the night This is awful I know but I have tried Despite strangely looking at myself in spite I can feel superior, a feeling I try to hide So what am I to do except keeping it tight Pray for the light and keep up the fight
It should be easier now since I’ve found her Still the fight will go on and I will try harder The pain won’t matter, I’ll keep going forever For as long as I have my love for her.
*I just want to rhyme, and this is inspired by the Marshall..
I paid RM60 (RM63 if I count the tax) just to sit in an uncomfortable chair for 3 hours, watching a bunch of people screaming meaningless words, failing at their attempt to be poetic, singing terrible songs and dancing unrhythmically. Then, I get to see how in the old days Malay couple used to date in the woods and have sex there.
That’s what I can sum up about Uda & Dara The Musical 2010 (UDTM) I watched last night. That story was supposed to be a tragic tale of love and tragic conflict between the rich and the poor. Unfortunately I did not get any of those from the play. I didn’t see anything that showed how strong the love is between Uda and Dara. I did not see enough hatred and tension between the rich and poor. I just can’t feel it. All I saw were horny young couple getting it on in the woods and an angry young man starting a riot because he got turned down by his girlfriend’s parents. It was a poor interpretation of the Uda & Dara tale, and an even poorer presentation of the story. Gadis Di Kuburan
Nisan condong tegak bertaburan gadis menangis kehibaan tidak ada padang perjuangan pahlawan gugur bergelimpangan. Lari gadis menyembah ke tanah diiringi sedu menggoncang bahu tenang pahlawan dipeluk bumi senyum terakhir tenang tersembunyi.
Kenangan lama bermain di hati pelukan dan kucupan kasih tidak ada garisan sepi kata dipadu, janji dikunci. “Sungguhkah, dinda?” tanya pemuda. “Benar kanda,” sahutnya manja. Ke jinjang pelamin setahun lagi hilir berbiduk ke laut hidup. Datanglah lamaran ke ayah bonda penuh khidmat berjunjung duli tetapi pemuda emas sesaga tertolaklah lamaran, terurailah janji.
Matahari bersembunyi di balik awan pulanglah orang membawa usungan air di kendi kekeringan terkejut gadis dari menungan. Melangkah gadis menahan denyutan pandangan terakhir terlempar ke nisan setangkai kemboja gugur perlahan merangkak senja menutup pandangan.
The poem above, Gadis Di Kuburan, was the ‘birth’ of this tale. Usman Awang published that poem in 1953, and in 1956 it was turned into a short story titled Uda & Dara. Since then, countless adaptations of this tale have been done into dramas, plays, etc.
Those earlier adaptations must have been really good for the story to stay famous and relevant till this day. I cannot say the same about this latest adaptation though.
The biggest pull for me to watch this play was Rahim Razali. He is the director, and this is not the first time he directs Uda & Dara. So what could go wrong, right? It’s Rahim Razali, a big name in local theater circuit, directing a play he directed before. Risk free.
Boy, how wrong was I!
I don’t know if there is anything worse than corny lines and corny scenes between two lovers. Basically that’s all the play was about, corny embarrassing scenes and lines. The opening scene that normally sets the tone of any play was bad, but because it’s Rahim Razali’s I quietly told myself to bare with it, it will get better as it go on. Turned out I was extremely deluded, and the only time I clapped during the play was at the end of the opening scene. After that my hands were too busy covering my face in embarrassment.
The romantic scenes made me cringe. The supposedly poetic lines and dialogues left me scratching my head. The action and movement of the actors were way over the top even for a theater, and often not in sync with the dialogues; random meaningless movements. The singing was below average (except for Misha Omar, as expected). The dance choreography was average at best and the dancers looked like they didn’t have enough practice.
The prop change between the scenes was a mess as well. I can’t pinpoint what was wrong with it exactly (I’m no expert of course), but I have never noticed the prop change in a play as much as I noticed it last night. They were slow and it was too obvious; it was painful waiting for them to be done with the prop change at the end of every scene. Unprofessional and disorganized if you like.
The glitch of the background during the opening scene of the show was unforgivable. Mistakes happen, that’s normal. However, the time they took to fix it was unacceptable. I actually felt like climbing up to the control panel (which was just behind me) to help them out with it, that’s how slow it was for them to react. Again, very unprofessional.
Now, the storyline. Like I said earlier, I don’t get it. I simply don’t.
Uda loves Dara, Dara loves Uda. Uda is a man’s man, Dara is the talk of the village. Uda is poor, Dara is spanking rich. So far so good, simple and straightforward.
Let’s continue.
Uda and Dara often date in the woods somewhere. Their date routine seemed to always be the same. Dara will be at the place first. Uda will always be late. Then Dara will get fed up having to wait for Uda everytime. Only then will Uda make his grand entrance. Hiding behind the trees, he will start singing. Dara will be surprised to hear Uda’s voice and starts looking frantically for Uda. She always fails. Uda then will show himself to Dara, emerging from behind the trees. Dara will smile and then they will hold hands.
Ok. Annoying, but ok nonetheless.
They talk about their love. “Abang sayang Dara.” “Dara sayang abang.” That kind of stuff. They talk about getting married. Their plans for the future. And that’s it. That’s all they have to show for their supposedly unbreakable love. No other problems or happenings to lead to the biggest obstacle of their love, the conflict between the rich and poor. It was just not enough to convince me of their love. Their love is the core of this tale, I think they should have put more emphasis on this.
On to the next big issue of the tale, rich vs poor. Nobles vs peasants.
They did try to show how arrogant and cruel the rich and the nobles can be, and just how humble and dignified the poor are. However, again, it was just not enough. Maybe it was the dialogue? The acting? The directing? All of that? I really don’t know. Whatever they were, in the end, Uda and his friends who were supposed to be the good guys came out looking like bitter thugs themselves. They didn’t get what they wanted so the only answer was to “PERANG!” Whyyyyy? Because Uda’s proposal was turned down by Dara’s mum? Way to go the good guys!
I don’t get it!
On to the sex scene. Yup you read that right, sex scene. Never in my wildest dream I would hope to see live sex scene in our country. Sigh.
Ok I’m being unfair there. That scene was supposed to be a beautiful symbolic show of true love between Uda & Dara. (I’m not going into right or wrong argument so save it). That scene was supposed to make you (girls) go “awww”. But like everything else in the play, it was very poorly executed. They had this group of dancers with ‘selendang’ dancing a ballet like dance, the lights were change to beautiful romantic mode, and the music was soft… Still, it went bad. The couple looked like a couple practicing Kamasutra moves. Embarrassing!
I could probably go on and on with this. I could probably think of another 100 reasons why I think the play was terrible. I’m not going to do that though. It’s enough to say that Uda & Dara The Musical 2010 (UDTM) is unfortunate enough to be THE ONLY bad play I have ever seen in my life. Admittedly, I don’t go to that many plays but amongst the plays I’ve seen is Impak Maksima, and I thought it was ok. This goes to show that I don’t have a high standard and I’m not hard to please at all, but still UDTM failed, big time.
I’m so disappointed with Rahim Razali and I hope he can bounce back from this.
Or maybe I’m just not cultured enough to appreciate UDTM. If that’s the case, I sincerely apologise.
This is a story of Liverpool's pyramid, Bill Shankly, from the heart-warming memory of George Scott who was in the Liverpool reserve team during the 60s.
In January 1960 at the age of 15 I travelled to Liverpool from Aberdeen to sign for Bill Shankly as one of his first young players.
I remember getting off of the train at Lime Street Station and being met by Joe Fagan who was then the youth team coach. We got in a taxi and drove up the famous Scotland Road where Joe told me there was a pub on every corner and not to visit any of them ever.
We soon arrived at 258 Anfield Road where I was to share lodgings with two other apprentices, Bobby Graham and Gordon Wallace, both of whom later went on to play in the first team.
My first wage as an apprentice professional was £7.50 per week of which I gave £3.50 to my landlady for my lodgings and sent £2.00 per week home to my Mum in an envelope to help the family out. I was left with £1.50 per week which was enough in those days for a young man to have a great time for a week in Liverpool, including being able to watch the Beatles start their career playing live in the Cavern in Mathew Street. In May 1961 outside the secretary’s office I found a complete record of the week’s wages to be paid in to Barclays Bank in Walton Vale for every player and member of staff at Anfield. Unbelievably the total wage bill for every player and all of the coaching and managerial staff in the Liverpool Football Club was five hundred and thirteen pounds, thirteen shillings, and two pence old money.
As Apprentice professionals, after cleaning the first team’s boots, painting the stands and clearing the rubbish from the Kop we used to play 5-a-sides in the car park behind the main stand every Monday morning. The opposition in these games was usually Bill Shankly, Bob Paisley, Joe Fagan, Ronnie Moran and Reuben Bennett.* Our side was Bobby Graham, Gordon Wallace, Tommy Smith, Chris Lawler, and me. We never ever won those games because Shanks and company would have played until dark to make sure they got the result.
One of my first memories of Bill Shankly was in January 1960 when we were standing in the centre circle on the pitch while he was showing my father and me around a rather dilapidated Anfield.* Liverpool at the time was in the second division and he had just taken over as Manager. He said that I should look around and be grateful that I had signed for the club at this time because this place was going to become a “Bastion of Invincibility and the most famous football club in the world”
My father worked at the time as a gardener for the Aberdeen City Council and during the conversation Bill asked him the question “Who are you with Mr Scott”? My Dad replied “I work for the City Mr Shankly” whereupon Bill responded by saying in his best James Cagney voice “What league do they play in?
After a two year apprenticeship, I signed full time professional forms on my 17th birthday on October 25th 1961 and went on to make 138 appearances in the reserve team at Anfield scoring 34 goals.
Although I moved in to the first team squad, I never made my first team debut, as they only used 13 players in total that year, and the substitute rule only became effective in 1966, after I had left the club.
It was so different then from the Liverpool of the modern era. When reporters asked Bill Shankly what the team was, he used to reply “Same as last season”
During my time at Liverpool as a young player, I saw at first hand the fantastic charisma and motivational powers of Bill Shankly, and I was a witness to the authenticity of many of the stories of this amazing man that have found their way in to the folk lore of British football. I was there when he ordered the building of the famous shooting boards and sweat boxes at the Melwood training ground, where the* training and coaching methods instilled by Bill Shankly and Bob Paisley were ultimately copied all over the world.
In the 1964/65 season I ended the season at Liverpool as easily the leading goal scorer in the second team at Anfield, and the first team beat Leeds United to win the FA Cup at Wembley. This was the first time that Liverpool had ever won the Cup, and it was a fabulous occasion, and the greatest day in the clubs history at that time. I remember walking up the Wembley pitch with Bill Shankly Bob Paisley and Peter Thompson an hour and a half before the game. Bill looked at the masses of Liverpool fans behind the goal and said to Bob Paisley. “Bob we can’t lose for these fans, it is not an option” The hairs still stand up on the back of my neck today when I think about it.
I remember Ian St John’s great headed winning goal in extra time, and the winner’s reception at the Grosvenor House Hotel in London. On the train journey home we drank champagne from the FA Cup, and once we passed Crewe you could not see the buildings for flags and bunting. When we arrived at Lime Street station there must have been over 500,000 people in the streets as we made our way to the town hall for the official reception.
I stood behind Shankly on the town hall balcony as he made his speech to the thousands of supporters congested in to Water Street below, and it was absolutely electrifying. At the time I was in digs with the great Liverpool winger Peter Thompson and when we eventually got home to our digs that evening I found a letter from the club waiting for me from Mr Shankly. I opened it thinking that I had been permanently promoted to the first team squad and that 1966 would be my big breakthrough year. I was brought right back to reality when I saw that the letter stated that at a board meeting of the Directors of Liverpool FC it had been decided to place me on the transfer list.
On the Monday morning I went in to see the great man as I was very upset. He then proceeded to make the most wonderful sacking any manager has ever implemented.
He said to me “George son there are five good reasons why you should leave Anfield now.” I was puzzled and asked what they were. “Callaghan, Hunt, St John, Smith, and Thompson” he replied “The first team forward line, they are all internationals”.
I was in tears by now, and it was then that he showed his motivational powers, humanity and greatness when he said the words I will never forget. “George son always remember that at this moment in history you are the twelfth best player in the world” When I asked what he meant by this outrageous statement he replied “The first team here at Anfield son is the greatest team in the world and you are the leading goal scorer in the reserves. I have sold you to Aberdeen go back home and prove me right”
As I was leaving his office very upset, he made his final comment. ”Son remember this, you were one of the first players to come here and sign for me so I want you to think of yourself like the foundation stone of the Liverpool Cathedral.* “Nobody ever sees it but it has to be there otherwise the cathedral does not get built”
He also gave me a written reference that day which is still my proudest possession and which says the following.
"Dear People
George Scott played for my football club for five years from 1960 to 1965 and during that time he caused no trouble to anybody.
I would stake my life on his character.
* Bill Shankly"
(Signed in red ink)
The old Olivetti typewriter he used to type the reference is still on display in the Liverpool FC museum today.
I had never earned more than £45.00 per week at Anfield despite having been on the verge of the first team but I received a signing on fee of £1,000 on returning to Aberdeen in 1965 at a time when a new Mini cost £534 (I know that because I bought one for cash and drove it out of the showroom).
Aberdeen were my home town club that I had supported since childhood, and I scored on my debut and got rave reviews when we beat Glasgow Rangers 2.0 in front of 28,000 fans. There were nine full Scottish internationals in the Rangers team that day including the Rangers and Scotland captain John Greig. I remember putting the ball through Greig’s legs and hearing his Glaswegian accent following me and requesting in very basic terms the name of the hospital I would prefer to wake up in if I ever did it again.
I thought I was really on the way to justifying Bill Shankly’s faith in my ability and at last making the breakthrough to the big time. Unfortunately the difference between success and failure in football can sometimes be wafer thin, and after just half a dozen games in the first team at Aberdeen I suffered a serious cruciate ligament injury and was released at the end of the season in May 1966. After starting the season with such high hopes I was out of work at the age of 21 having left school at fifteen years of age, with nothing to fall back on and having no qualifications other than football.
After being released by Aberdeen at the end of that 1965 season I returned to Liverpool to live with my girlfriend’s family and spent many weeks training on my own to regain my fitness. I got a job for a few months in Crawford’s, a biscuit factory, throwing ropes round pallets of biscuits and loading them on to wagons. The factory workers were brilliant, wanting to hear stories about the great Bill Shankly. Then in June 1966, I received a call from a representative of the South African Premier League club Port Elizabeth City FC, telling me I had been recommended to them by Bill Shankly.
Thanks again to the great man’s recommendation another £1,000 signing on fee came my way and my wife Carole and I got married on July 30th 1966 (the same day that England won the World Cup) and flew to South Africa on 8th August 1966 to join Port Elizabeth FC. When my wife and I arrived in Port Elizabeth just after England had won the 1966 World Cup, South Africa was in the grip of the Apartheid regime, and Nelson Mandela had just begun his “Long road to Freedom, by being incarcerated in Robben Island off the coast of Cape Town. Today Nelson Mandela has completed that long walk to freedom and South Africa has been transformed into the rainbow nation that will host the 2010 World Cup.
At Port Elizabeth we won the 1967 South African Premier League title, and Bill wrote to me in South Africa a number of times. One of his letters that I still have today, sent me the best wishes of everyone at Anfield and ended with the words “By the way we are still winning the five a side games in the car park, how could we lose with five referees in our team”
In 1968 I received a visit in Port Elizabeth from the then Chairman of Liverpool FC Mr Sydney Reakes who conveyed the best wishes of Bill Shankly and all of the staff at Liverpool FC to me and he told me that if I returned to the UK he was confident that Bill would fix me up with a club in England. Remembering the words of Mr Reakes that Bill would help me on my return I nervously went to Anfield in October 1968 to try to see him.
I saw Roger Hunt in the car park as I approached the player’s entrance and Roger said Bill was in his office and would be delighted to see me. You just couldn’t do this today.
When I entered the Anfield Stadium and made my way down to Bill’s office I heard his unmistakable Jimmy Cagney staccato voice chatting to a reporter but as soon as Bill saw me the reporter was immediately dismissed and Bill invited me in to his office. The conversation went like this. “Mr Reakes tells me your team have won the championship and you have set South Africa alight scoring goals for fun, so what are your plans George?” I said that I was married and that I had a young son who was barely four months old and I wanted to return to play in the UK.
“Where do you want to play son”? Said Bill. I replied “How about Arsenal boss” Bill replied “I tell you what son, how about Tranmere Rovers” He then picked up the phone and phoned David Russell who was then the manager of Tranmere Rovers and he said in his inimitable Shankly way.
*“I have a boy here just come back from South Africa where he was the leading scorer in their Premier League and he was the best player ever to play for my reserve team”
Within five minutes, and on Shankly’s word the Tranmere Rovers Manager at the time David Russell, had committed himself to giving me a month’s trial at Tranmere Rovers on 1st team wages. When I went over that afternoon to Prenton Park Mr Russell said to me “I hope you can play son.” Without having seen me play and purely on Shankly’s word he put me in the first team in Alan King’s testimonial game at Prenton Park against Derby County who were the English League Champions of the day managed by Brian Clough and containing names like Archie Gemmell, Peter Shilton, Kevin Hector, Alan Hinton, Alan Durban John O’Hare and Dave Mackay. I played regularly in the Tranmere Rovers first team over the next two seasons but more importantly I was able to settle back into the UK with my wife and begin to build a future successful family and business life back on Merseyside.
We will never tire of asking why Looking around us trying to make sense of it all And sometimes tracing our steps back We got dead lost, lost sight of what’s ahead
Often the tears that we dropped They all seem in vain; useless and wasteful The tears might as well have been blood And still we are nowhere, only grasping at thin air Ever so gloom we try to look forward Ever so hard we try to force a smile out Back and forth between the memory and the present Suddenly we find we are stuck in the middle
Now I’m not going to pretend I know exactly how you feel But I can see you are confusing desperation with moving on That feeling when you feel you’re in too deep Impossible to crawl yourself up to the surface again
I am crying for you With the cut deep inside I do feel for you But between my issues and my life path The limit is reached, however pathetic it is
So keep on walking your steps Backward or forward it won’t make a difference Because that day you heart broke a million pieces Was the last time you will ever feel complete
It’s not supposed to be understood right? Don’t worry, I understand that now
I’m a big fan of this one guy who called himself Hassan Skodeng. Well he’s not a guy actually, he’s a baboon. Yup, that’s right, a baboon. Before anyone starts accusing me of being rude, he himself said he’s a baboon, with a red ass. His words, not mine, so I’m not being rude here.
Hassan the baboon is a blogger, or rather, he has a blog (Check it out yourself - Nose4news). In his blog he writes fictional news as a joke. So there is no truth in what he writes, all lies in fact, for comedy purpose. Pure made up news. As a joke. To make people laugh. He writes the news in his blog, in his pure fictional news blog, as a joke. For fun. To make people forget whatever problems that they may have for a while. So yeah, his news blog is one big joke blog. Not real news. Fictional. Fake news. Not real. Not the truth. All lies, just to make his readers happy.
I keep stressing what he writes is a joke, not the truth, because it is important. You see, some people have problems understanding that. His banner for the blog clearly states ‘The truth is out there (not in here)’. ‘True lies. Total horsecrap. Absolute fiction. So don’t sue me. Ain’t got no money anyways’. For some reason, some people do not understand that. They think the news he writes are all true.
The banner even has a picture of Pinocchio with the long nose, just to make it absolutely clear that the news in that blog are total lies. Still, many people think it’s true. They take it seriously. Even though the content of the news could not be more obvious that it is a joke, some people just don’t get it. Sigh, that’s okay I guess. If they don’t get it, they just won’t get it. What can we do, it’s not their fault that they are not blessed with any sense of humour. Poor people.
So not getting the joke is okay. However, what makes it not okay is accusing him of bad intent with his writing. Accusing him of malicious intent. “Writing/spreading inappropriate material with the intent to hurt”, that’s what he is being investigated for right now. Yup, he is officially being investigated under the section 233 of the Multimedia Act (I’m quoting Hassan Skodeng here, so if section 233 Multimedia Act doesn’t exist, blame him. He’s a big fat liar after all, so you can never be too sure). Just because a joke he made, which he clearly stated as a joke just to make people laugh and without any bad intention, some sensitive people made an official report against him. So now he is in trouble.
The fake news that got him into trouble is about TNB suing WWF on Earth Hour. He has deleted that sensitive piece of fake news (IT IS A JOKE!) from his blog. I wish I can show here that fake news, but the baboon in his blog made a request to other people not to post that fake news anywhere, and delete it if it is already posted. So to respect his request, I’m not going to tell more about the content of that fake news. Just go to his blog, read his other work and you can pretty much know the content of the said fake news. TNB, WWF, Earth Hour…..well surely you’ll get it.
As I understand it, although it is a JOKE, TNB failed to see the funny side of it. Even after this came out in The Star online dated March 28, where it clearly stated that it is a JOKE, and that the baboon apologized for “making his fake news appear too real”. Even after Hassan Skodeng repeatedly stated in his blog that it is just a joke by answering the angry comments from the people who thought the news was real or has bad intention. Even after all that, TNB still lodged a report against the poor baboon.
Well, what can I say?
I can say a lot actually. I am very disappointed with all this. I just cannot believe that this is happening.
I cannot believe how some people cannot see the joke in it. I cannot believe how some people do not think it’s funny. But like I said, that is fine. Some people just do not have any sense of humour. It’s not their fault I guess. But, I really cannot believe how some people can still be angry after they were told that it is only a joke. I really cannot believe how some people can accuse the writer of writing it with bad intention. And… I really, really, cannot believe TNB actually made a report against Hassan. I mean, what in the world are they thinking?
If TNB came out and say ‘Well we understand that it is just a joke. We support Earth Hour”, then TNB will come out from this with better and bigger reputation. It is a perfect opportunity for them to strengthen their image. Instead, they made a report against Hassan. Why? Because they thought what he wrote tarnished their image? Well I can say this, because they made that report, to the readers and fans of Nose4news, TNB is ‘not so bright’. In the end, they are tarnishing their own image. Good job! (Click here and read the comments for that posting, and you will realised I’m being extremely nice when I say ‘not so bright’).
I just cannot understand TNB’s point of view. Don’t tell me they don’t know what Hassan wrote about them in that piece of fake news is only a joke. Surely TNB is smart enough to understand this. As one of the biggest company in our country, they must have brilliant people running it. How can these people not see that there is no bad intent in what Hassan wrote? So to me that only leaves two possibilities.
One, someone in TNB has a personal grudge against primates. Maybe that someone is staying/stayed in Kuala Selangor and the notorious Kuala Selangor lotong always mess up that someone’s garbage, thrash that someone’s car and steal that someone’s yummy mangos. So when that someone realized Hassan Skodeng is actually a baboon, that someone smells blood. A baboon is not exactly a lotong but this is a great opportunity to get even. This is as close as it gets. And here we are..
Two, TNB thinks Malaysians are too stupid. That Malaysians actually believe TNB is suing WWF because of Earth Hour. Well like I said, some people did believe the story actually. When they read it the first time, they believed it because Hassan writes his fake news really well and he writes them just like how a real news is written. But then, Hassan stated in the comments column for that fake news that it is only a joke. That TNB is not suing WWF. Then, as I stated above, Star Online ran this story on their website, clearly stating that it is only a joke. (See the news, click here). Hassan even came out with 3 postings in his blog about this incident, again stating that it is only a JOKE. Unfortunately according to TNB, Malaysians are just too haplessly stupid, none of those can make them understand what is really going on, and here we are..
So, which one is it, possibility 1 or 2? Hmm, I just thought of another possibility, a third one. Maybe, just maybe, it is true that TNB is not happy with WWF's Earth Hour. That is why they were really riled up about what Hassan wrote. That make sense!
Or, maybe it is true what they said, TNB is 'not so bright'. Maybe understanding jokes is outside TNB’s capability. Loosening up is impossible for TNB. Maybe TNB really feels that the red ass baboon is really out to get them. And again, here we are... Scary isn't it, when we have people like this supplying electricity to the whole country.
So which one? I’ll let you decide for yourself.
The reason I’m very disappointed with all this is because Hassan is a good writer. He writes really well, he writes really funny and intelligent stuff. For some reason we do not realise that. We cannot appreciate his work. In fact we are shutting him down. Now I don’t know this baboon. All I know about him is his blog, Nose4News. He might be a devil outside his blog, he might be a real angel, I wouldn’t know. But what I do know, I like his writing, I like his blog, I like his work and he didn’t do anything wrong. He certainly should be allowed to continue writing.
We should encourage more people like Hassan, not stopping them. There are lots of bad things being said about Malaysian, about our intellectual level, the narrow mindedness. Sadly, this whole incident shows just that, the narrow mindedness, and it is hard to understand let alone to defend TNB in this.
Currently he is taking a ‘break’ from writing because of this case. He doesn’t say when he will be back. I’m guessing it depends on whether or not he manages to get out from this trouble. Bummer! I hope they won’t charge him with anything because I don’t think he did anything wrong and I love his work. When people talk about comedy gold, his work is pure comedy gold. So it will be a great pity if he is not allowed to continue writing for his blog.
To Hassan Skodeng, all the best. I hope you will get out from this unscratched. And I hope your sucking up to MCMC people will work so you can return soon, doing what you do best, making people laugh. Good luck..
To TNB, I'd like to echo a sentiment from one of the fans of Hassan Skodeng. 'If only I have alternative to TNB, I would surely boycott it. But since it's a monopoly, I guess they can do what they want and be what they want, no matter how ridiculous'.
Cheers! (Please don't sue me) ps - Wanted to do this earlier but forgot, check out my favorite Hassan Skodeng work. It's hillarious.Sabah & Sarawak to be relocated
Oh how it hurts when the hurt came from your love And how insulting when after all these years, the scar still remains While the hurt flows deep in you, in your vein.
With the hurt in your blood you see nothing but blood With your pride destroyed you feel worthless, and deeply bitter So you push away the warmth, shutting it out. An eye for an eye although they are innocent eyes Either from your black heart or clouded mind, it’s now blatant You are still being tightly chained Still being owned
And how damning when you realised the damning truth When the blame you so eagerly pointed away, it's equally yours With that realisation you are resigned to a lifetime of punishment
What a pity, How a life can be destroyed so easily.
It puzzles me how I’m ok with this emptiness Been dreading it, worrying and stressing out But when the day arrived, nothing Like it has always been that way
I do not want this emptiness I do not want to lose that smiling lips The bright eyes and the childish charm The warmth of the assuring presence But I’m ok without it, not even a nightmare To mark my longing for the emptiness to be filled again To hear the sweet voice, the giggles And that childish charm, a charm to die for
Maybe it’s too short, as it is too short Five pairs of the sun and the moon Maybe it is the promise that it will continue After the cold is replaced by the familiar rain and shine
Maybe it is, but the truth is still a mystery And I want to not be able to live without it
So it is you Back and forth, up and down And now it is sewn It is you And suddenly the sun is shining again
The big tall walls I was trapped, cowed really But now I am free No more walls I’m running happily with you by my side But really Was there ever any doubt From the very first question ‘You like Italian football?’ To the scary almost tragedy What a waste those two RM50 notes were
And on to the RM4 That talk, do you remember? The sms that followed not long after ‘So tell me am I leaving you again’ Broke my heart that did Until that call, ‘Hey I can only talk to you about this’
You might snigger hearing this But there was never any doubt Deep down I knew I saw I felt Yet sometimes stupidity knows no boundaries Oh how stupid I was For that I owe you a lifetime of bliss
A leader of a country executed one of his best friends. The execution was in line with the law of that country; his friend was convicted for an offence punishable by death. So the leader, being fair and all had no choice but to kill his friend. He did the execution himself (a public execution), without a hint of any emotion. Calm and emotionless. But later, another friend saw him alone in a room crying (3 of them were best friends, during the time when they fought against a cruel and evil king).
So that guy in trying to console the leader said something along the line of “You did nothing wrong, don’t blame yourself. You had no choice but to execute him. No one is above the law, not you and not him. You did the right thing.” Hearing that the leader turned to his friend, looked him straight in the eyes and said, “These tears are not because I lost a friend. These tears are not because I killed my best friend, my brother. These tears are mourning myself, mourning what I have become. I just lost a friend, I just killed my own brother but not even a faint of sadness in my heart. The calmness you saw in me when I swung the sword was not an act. That wasn’t me putting a brave face in front of the public. I feel no guilt at all. What have I become? And for what? ……What have I turned into?”
